I feel like this is the definitive statement of Kendi’s philosophy. Childish, self-referential, simplistic, reductive, belligerent, prejudiced, akd contradictory. His thought is more of an attitude, than a thesis. And this explanation of it captures it perfectly.
An intelligent person would realize, at this point, that they’re talking to a child, or much worse and more dangerous, a childishly reductive, simplistic, contradictory, prejudiced, belligerent, self-referential adult. An intelligence of adult magnitude, a will and influence of great magnitude, creative and determined, but magnifying the prejudices and follies of something none of us should aspire to be. It is a will to folly. A powerful one. But, as someone once said, the problem with trying to make yourself less clever than you are through self deception and confusion is that you’re quite likely to succeed.
The obvious, correct answer almost any child would arrive at, hearing his response to the question is, “What? That didn’t answer my question. Maybe you aren’t as clever as you think and don’t really know what your talking about.” But adults, with their great need to find sense in nonsense, are able instead to convince themselves that nonsense is sense, and subordinate their thoughts to their expectations. Children are often very good at pointing out the blindingly obvious, which is the whole point of “The Emperor’s New Clothes”.
I once asked my daughter if boys and girls were different from each other. And she said, “Yes, obviously.” I said, “How do you know?” She said “Everyone can see that, all you have to do is be around them. They’re totally different.” I replied, “Some people think we just make them be different by forcing them to be different somehow, but they aren’t really any different.” She said, “That’s crazy. Adults try to make us act different all the time and it’s impossible.”
And that was an argument I couldn’t respond to. The inability of parents to make children be and act they way they want them to is a well-known staple of human behavior. There’s an entire Platonic dialogue about it. And it’s certainly true in my own life. I actually have children, and it’s nearly impossible to directly influence anything about them. After ten years I still can’t get them to stop wiping snot on the walls or stop leaving the pantry door open. I can’t get my younger daughter to not cry so much. I can’t get my older daughter to talk more quietly. You work with your kids. You influence them, you provide some of the environment, but they teach you how you have to treat them just by being who they are. And us parents adapt to them.
There is some reciprocity. They adapt to us too, reluctantly. But it takes an enormous amount of work and struggle that carries a huge psychic cost and cost of effort, even when you know exactly that you want and when it seems fairly simple. Parents actually adapt more easily and willingly than children, who are supremely self-centered when they’re young. Over time, we try to crack that brain open and make them aware of the existence, needs, demands, and expectations of the larger world around them. But it’s a trial. They fight you every step of the way.
Even my very agreeable and sociable and communicative older daughter had no interest in pleasing us or being how we wanted her to be. Her will and self-regard at 2 was equal to my own and could sustain itself far longer. She had far more energy, no self-doubts, no restraint, no larger concerns. It was like fighting the ocean just to get her to stop doing small things and get her doing other small things that would help her exist around other people (like not hitting them or not screaming until she threw up). If adults could mold their children on the level that some people imagine, why on earth would so many parents and children be so unhappy with each other and disappointed in one another?
This is all beside the point, I know. But it’s the sort of simple decption that adults can fool themselves into with massive effort, but that children can see through almost instantly. Any decently smart child would realize that Kendi hadn’t answered the question, that maybe he couldn’t answer it because he didn’t know what he was talking about and was talking nonsense. But it takes the special ignorance and foolishness of adults to believe that the question was answered.
Making Nobody Happy 