Forbidden territory: polygamy

-Warning, all forbidden territory discussions are meant to be open, unfiltered, speculative explorations. They don’t represent a position, a suggestion, or a value to be embraced. They are an attempt to figure out what the arguments are for something that may be controversial, a sort of steelman exercise. Sometimes it’s helpful to think through questions that are usually off the table or hard to talk about freely, that were afraid or ashamed to look at clearly and dispassionately, in an attempt to understand what the argument for them is, what their appeal is. And that’s something I’m interested in learning. There are so many things we don’t currently approve that others in the past or in other cultures have. This is for those who think it’s worth at least understanding the appeal. My goal is to argue the point without actually endorsing it. There’s also some value simply in seeing just how easily certain positions can be justified. How can you be sure how good your own arguments are if you only ever take their value, and the lack of value of others’ for granted? That’s what forbidden territory is all about.-

Setting feelings, prejudices, and moral traditions aside, what is the argument for polygamy? It’s obviously something that holds a natural attraction. It’s certainly been common enough in history in one form or another. Whether it’s simply having multiple wives, having wives and concubines, serial monogamy, the multiple families of the rich and the French, etc, it’s happened a lot. Which means men have some natural inclination toward it and women have some capacity to tolerate it, and possibly even embrace it.

From a purely genetic perspective, there is something in the fact that we all have roughly twice as many female ancestors as male ancestors. You can get that result without polygamy, but it’s still significant. Men have a stronger natural compulsion toward casual mating, and have more relaxed standards for qualification, and have a greater desire for variety. Women are choosy and picky and tend to fixate on only the most desirableable mate. All this makes perfect sense considering how much more risk and commitment is assumed by a woman in mating. Women also have a much shorter reproductive window. And on a population-wide level, you can lose practically all the men in a society, either by accident or by expenditure, and still maintain the survival of the lineage.

Oddly enough, both of these different preferences could result in polygamy. Men’s desire for variety and open acceptance of a number of viable partners could be formalized into polygamy. And women’s fixation on selecting only the best possible mates could result in them focusing on only a small pool of the very best mates, which they would then share, also resulting in polygamy. If women wouldn’t compromise on quality then they might compromise on sharing with other women.

Sexually, women seem to also be more tolerant of other women in the mix. You can share your mate with someone else and still maintain access to them reproductively. Men can’t do that. And men are in greater natural competition, practically and genetically, whereas women are more cooperative and genetically conservative. Men, much like males of many species, don’t share territory well. From a genetic standpoint, their position is tenuous, and from a practical standpoint it’s also very vulnerable. It can and likely will be easily taken from you if you don’t defend it.

Females share territory much better and are adapted to do so much better, physically, emotionally, and socially. Men individually require far more resources to maintain, are much more lacking in social skills, are less interested in other people, and are more aggressive and competitive. Women bond together and solve problems cooperatively and socially. By personality, women are also much more agreeable, which is a very pro-social trait to possess, as it mollifies your individuality somewhat for the sake of social cohesion and cooperation. The greater disagreeability of men pushes them further apart on average individually, and their often less-developed verbal abilities make complex social structures more difficult and more stressful to navigate.

Sexually, women also seem to have a greater tolerance of other women’s sexuality and are more flexible. Men are more set and more singular in their behaviors, and their neurology reflects this, being far less distributed and interconnected. Having multiple long-term mates, as a man, allows you to invest in a committed relationship and child-rearing, while also scratching that itch for novelty and the need to spread a wider net with a more chancy set of genes that men have. For women, having multiple committed partners to one male mate (compared to uncommitted promiscuity by men) has some value, in that you do get a stable reproductive choice and you do get a mate that is locked in and committed to helping with child rearing, as well as the potential benefit of a cooperative female ally.

Not that women haven’t been known to try to push out the children of other women, especially those whose mother is gone (the stepmother phenomenon), children in whom they have no genetic stake and who exist as a distraction from investment in their own children. But generally it’s much easier, for many reasons, to get women to share territory than men. And women naturally seek the company and society of other close women far more than men do, regardless.

Because of the massive difference in mating windows and gestation periods (as well as desire and inclination), it’s also far easier for a man to be shared than for a woman to be shared. So long as the women’s needs are being adequately met and they are still enjoying the benefits of their much pickier mate selection by getting the most impressive man out of a hundred, along with access to his resources and the advantages he can provide for their offspring, it’s much easier to keep women happy. As long as their position and the position of their children is secured to maximum advantage, women are more willing to make the tradeoff of also sharing that mate. I’m not saying that’s what they want, in an ideal world, only that it’s much easier to understand why it might be acceptable (and more workable than multiple men to one woman).

There is a large imbalance between men and women of who they find acceptable mating partners, both short and long term. Experiments that involve young people asking random strangers if they’re willing to have sex universally result in a near 100% acceptance of females by males and a near 100% rejection of males by females. Men generally, in my own experience, find about 80% of all the women they know attractive enough to mate with, if the women men were interested (which they aren’t). Women generally find only 20% (or less) of the men they know attractive enough to mate with, if the men were interested (which they are).

The ideal amount of women to mate with, for a man, would instinctually be somewhere around most of them. When it comes to long-term mating partners, it might be a different story, but a lot of men could see themselves being happy with a lot of women, even in the long-term. The lower prevailing rates of neuroticism and lower rates of pursuing a divorce among men speak to this matter. It’s just easier for them to happy enough with a much wider selection of women. They’re less likely to be seriously unhappy with their mates (unhappy to the point of wanting to end the relationship), and are more easily satisfied.

Men might be a little too open to potential alternative mating partners, even if they don’t actually want to leave their spouses (and most who stray don’t). But they’re fairly easy to please. They aren’t very selective, really. They’re broadly enthusiastic about women in general, and quite happy to be among the minority of men who are judged and found acceptable and favored to pass their genes forward.

Women, on the other hand, are far less easy to please. The ideal number of men to have around, for women, possibly averages slightly less than one. Most divorces are initiated by women, and women are much more exacting and have greater expectations of their mating relationship. Understandably. They invest more, risk more, and have fewer opportunities over a shorter amount of time. So they tolerate less and are more sensitive to things that might be a problem. They need to be picky. And men are more risky bets.

Women want the best option. But men tend to pile up at the extremes more than women do. Their curve of outcomes is much steeper than women’s. So there are a lot of wholly unsuitable men, not enough average guys, and a larger but still comparatively small pool of exceptional men. If women are looking for the best and have exacting standards, there’s a pretty good pool, but not nearly enough to go around. And below that there’s a lot of junk.

How women judge fitness is a little more complex and subtle than men; it tends to be mediated by action rather than appearance. Not that appearance doesn’t come into it, too. But whereas all female gene lines get carried forward in mating, males only pass on their particular lineage if they manage to stay with their mate long enough to have a male child, which is in no way guaranteed. So that puts more pressure on male mating to be competitive with one another, and less pressure on women to compete within the sex (except as far as access to the best men is concerned, a problem polygamy solves).

These days, when technology opens up new possibilities that are less bounded by the limits of ordinary life, sex preferences become more obvious. Men, if they could, would like to have multiple female partners. Either serially or at the same time. And they will fulfill that desire through technologies like pornography, if life still makes the real thing impractical, while remaining attached to their mate. Men would keep what they have and add even more, if they could. Women, however, are fairly likely to choose no man at all, to cut them out and go it alone, which is hard but is much easier now than at any previous time in history. The number of acceptable mates, especially acceptable long-term mates, is much lower in women’s eyes. So why not jettison the men altogether and focus on building your own life, and your children if that’s part of it for you (the genetic means to whom is widely available without needing to keep the men on long-term). The modern world has made it a much more viable choice.

You cannot separate the behavior of men and women from their respective genetic, emotional, personality, biological, and mating differences. One explains the other. And both sexes make tolerable bargains to deal with the realities of life. It’s better to accept some man than to accept no man, as a woman. At least until the technology improves and solves that forced compromise. It’s better, as a man, to be faithful to some woman than to have no woman. Each sex pays the price of not getting to fully indulge their instincts, in order to negotiate with the other sex for some fulfillment.

One possible way out of this trap, of course, is homosexuality. Where you can get what you give and seek what you want, at least more reliably. You avoid the compromise of having to indulge the other sex. On the downside, you lose access entirely to the actual end products of sexuality itself. The rate of pregnancy resulting from a homosexual union remains stubbornly set at 0.00%. But eventually the technology may cure that and then the sexes won’t have to compromise and negotiate with the other sex.

In think, in conclusion, that we can at least see that polygamy is not so strange a phenomenon. People have been obliged to make and still do make all kinds of compromises throughout history to get what they want, or some version of it. Right now they way we structure relationships is quite messy and carries a lot of cost and produces a lot of anxiety and frustration. It’s not entirely clear that structured polygamy is worse than our current prevailing structures of single parenthood, multiple divorce, risky late-life reproduction, promiscuity, and multiple non-invested fathers. That doesn’t mean polygamy is good, or best, or free of problems, but it might mean that we’re not so justified in looking down on it. Our own position might not be so superior and without flaw as we imagine. I’m not advocating for it in any way, I simply wanted to explore the reasons why it might have occurred in the past at deeper level than “because those people were so much dumber or worse than me”. There are some very good arguments for monogamy and it’s value. It’s just less clear that what we take for superior sexual morals now are convincingly better than either monogamy or polygamy.

Powered by Journey Diary.

Reading racial animus into life

It’s strange how much the internet distorts things. If I listened to the internet, black people hate and resent me and want me to be put in my place for my crimes. But as a churchgoer and neighbor and parent and employer and owner of an ice cream store, black people are just people like everyone else and are perfectly delightful and we all get along wonderfully. Is it possible that the internet is just the home of the worst people of every kind, because better people are busy being out in life? Or does it just bring out the worst in us? Perhaps there are particularly good people in the places I frequent. And I try to avoid the internet, since it seems to attract the wrong crowd.

I never thought anything of black people, except that they were just another variety of people, of which there were lots, and as good or bad and as competent or not competent or as friendly and not friendly as anyone else. Being black wasn’t a super big deal, and didn’t tell you much about anyone invididually or what they were like or what their attitudes were. It was something, but other things mattered a lot more. And I kept thinking that my whole life, moving to different cities, knowing different people, hiring different people, working with different people, meeting different people at work or church ro school or in shops or around the neighborhood. Right up until about three years ago.

Then suddenly people started saying it was literally the most important thing and told you everything about people. Up until then, I don’t think “black people” existed in my mind as a category with a lot of content in it. I didn’t think it contained essential moral knowledge about any individuals. It was tertiary. Now it was being sold as primary. And I’ve always disliked people who took some part of their identity and made it into an overwhelming central pillar. Men who were all about being men and being manly. Americans who were all about being American. Women who were all about being women and whatever that meant to them. Reducing identity to sex or color always seemed to confining and always seemed to involve people turning their lives into a kind of formulaic performance, where everything was predictably about and filtered through that one thing. And I always found such performances tiresome and dull and lacking in depth and stimulation. I’m sure those things meant a lot to those people. I could just never get invested in seeing people that way.

The value and problems with psychological theism

I think the value of Jordan Peterson’s theological outlook is that it let’s you appreciate the Bible from a perspective outside Christianity. His position is essentially is that it is right and good and useful to live as if the Bible were true. That it is metaphorically true, or true in some transcendent sense, some hyper-real sense particular to humans. But that doesn’t mean that it’s literally or particularly true. God isn’t a literal intelligence. He’s more like an emergent or systemic intelligence that the universe possesses or is possessed by. God isn’t a literal intelligence that literally actually loves or cares about you and hears your prayers. Or at least it isn’t obvious and compelling on provable factual or logical grounds.

Faith may be a good, perhaps even necessary, attitude to take toward the universe, that the spirit behind the world and existence itself is good, that existence itself is good, and that it is well to live and believe as if life had purpose and we were precious and loved and of eternal value. But that doesn’t mean that that is literally actually the case. It would be nice, but the case for that is less compelling than the philosophical or psychological truth of Biblical perspectives.

Good enough. And maybe that’s all you can really expect in this life. To be able to choose a loyalty, to choose what narrative to live within, to live as if in this way or that way. To make a wager on a certain vision of the universe and goodness and value and ourselves. Maybe life is meant to be lived in this kind of tension. Maybe that’s what faith and freedom require. The ability to choose what vision to wager our lives on. And we might be reassured by demonstrations that there are some benefits to living as if a certain story were true, that there is an element of symbolic verisimilitude to how certain stories map onto human experience. Is that enough to give us the courage to face life? Is it enough to give us the courage to go further? To change our lives, to transform them, to give them up, to lose them with meaning? Maybe.

But this still leaves a lot of puzzles in the world. Why is it so, that it is good to live this way and believe this way, if it isn’t literally true? Why the gulf between the two? On a purely causational level, especially when it comes to the Gospel, which lies within the realm of history, not merely myth or evolved storytelling, what actually happened? How did the story get invented? How did fishermen change the world? How did they live and die for such peculiar beliefs if they knew they were false? Why didn’t anyone ever crack under torture, facing death, or even just in a careless moment? How is it that they didn’t even seem clear on what was happening and what it meant themselves? How could such deluded or deceitful men as Jesus and the disciples must have been have such an effect on the world?

As the myth of Jesus spread, the story did begin to evolve and grow in more typical mythological directions. But everyone involved seems to have been concerned to try to keep things to some idea of the actual history, and to keep one another honest, even though they had scattered to the far corners of the earth and could, presumably, begin to adapt the story to whatever suited them. And what on earth was up with Paul, and what happened to him? He seems to have been perfectly aware that if he was literally wrong about Jesus, then the symbolic story wasn’t worth the personal cost he was paying. He seems just as clever and self-aware as any modern. In fact he says that he would consider his position pitiable and pathetic if he was suffering for a lie. What are we supposed to make of this? Who were these people?

And who was Jesus? How could a nobody from nowhere with nothing unique to say (according to his critics) and so many imitators and competitors, who lived and taught for only a short while and left no writings and only one big well-recorded speech behind (that was received with more confusion than fervor), who was rejected and executed by his own people, who enjoyed no social or political or economic status or support, have so uniquely changed the world?

A letter to my representatives

Hello, I just wanted to register a concern about Bill SB-182. I think it’s worth remembering that part of what caused people to lose faith in and stop feeling safe in institutions like the catholic church (as well as some workplaces) was the tendency to have a different system of law inside them. So crimes that got committed there were not dealt with fairly and equally under the, but under an internal system that had its own institutional incentives to act in ways that were not in keeping with the law that the rest of the country has to live under.

Taking away the power and universality of the law, for any reason, is always a terrible danger to everyone, not least of those the people you’re trying to benefit. Part of the grand bargain that keeps society together and functioning is the agreement to grant the government a monopoly on violence. So people no longer have to worry about defending their family with direct retributary violence. Both perpetrators and victims benefit from a system that applies consistently across all dimensions of life. But if you take away the mechanisms of the law, make any large social institution exempt from it, so it has immunity and its own different set of laws, you create opportunities for abuse by both criminals who might take advantage of the situation for aggression and victims who take advantage for revenge.
This law will only make public schools a less and less desirable place for people to send their children, a situation that is already under threat from all sides due to covid, violence, falling performance, social stress, and a dozen other factors. People won’t send their kids to schools purely out of a sense of public duty. People are hardly willing to send their kids to school when there’s the threat of a disease that has only a vanishly small chance of affecting them.
I understand the need to not criminalize normal child behavior. Coming from a small town where people were expected to take more responsibility for their own lives and were not able to rely on a large public or government mechanism to watch over them, and I liked that. People treated you with respect and didn’t get upset over minor shenanigans and were pretty tough.
But structural exemption from the actual law of the land is a danger to everyone. If we hope to maintain trust in public institutions, they must be within the sphere of the law.
Thank you.

Appreciate the good times

People used to tell me to treasure the precious moments of my children’s young lives, because before I knew it they would be gone. And I nodded, because I knew, and I did appreciate it. And I don’t think I could have done more or been more present. But there was still a lesson to be learned. However much you treasure something doesn’t make it less finite. Or its passing less painful. Treasuring those moments doesn’t make them pass more slowly. And to see them slipping away in full knowledge may even hurt more day to day. But you do leave the field with one more thing, hopefully. A richer treasury of memories to keep forever safe with you, for your comfort (and pain) when those days have passed.

Why not swear?

Why not swear? Possibly, merely as a discipline. If you can control your tongue, you can control your speech. If you can control your speech, you can control yourself. If you can control yourself, you can control the present moment. If you can control the present moment, you can control the future. If you can control the future, you can control others beyond yourself. Those who cannot control their speech will be mastered by those who can, or find themselves in a world of their making.

None of these are universals. But speech has power. I once watched an interview with a policeman who said he had received a divine gift not to swear in stressful situations, and that it helped him maintain control over those situations and the people in them and direct them toward a more peaceful end of his design. The ability to control yourself, when others can’t, even in such a small way, is a sign of maturity and developed humanity and effective power over the tides of fate.

In response to Ibrim X Kendi

By his arguments there really isn’t such a thing as anti-racism. It’s just the opposing racism. It’s just labeling to justify a particular type of racism. Which, if you believe in a very relativistic worldview that’s only defined by power dynamics, what other alternatives are there?

I’ll give him this, his position follows from his beliefs. It’s just that calling it thst anti-racism is really just clever marketing. Anti-racism is just another kind of racism, with approved targets. It’s a mental framework for making racism great again.

I don’t know, maybe people really need to believe in racism. They can’t believe in perfect relativism. Not in practice. You have to act as if there was a value hierarchy, in order to act. And they don’t believe in objectivism. So you need some justification for acting under relativism as if it had objective force (which is the base idea underlying racism; you are different, therefore bad, I am different, therefore good).

I really don’t think you can overcome his arguments without addressing their underpinning philosophy. Or perhaps in practice you can simply expose the fact that it really just is a framework for justifying racism, and people will see that you’re not actually offering a real alternative, and so will seek a different framework.

That’s the real problem with anti-racism. It’s a false alternative. You don’t actually escape racism, you just choose a different racism to believe in. But if it’s all racism, why not just stick with the racism you’ve already got? I don’t think there’s actually a good argument for why you should.

Under a relativistic framework, what’s wrong with my racism vs yours? In what objective way is your racism actually better, and what (if relativism is true) could possibly be inducing me to switch loyalties, other than manipulation and clever power manuvering? Of course, under his own theories there’s really nothing wrong with that, it’s all justified. Why not fight for your side against others? That’s all anyone does. So it’s consistent enough in its mercenary quality.

Really the cleverness of his arguments is his ability to spin the relative value of identical alternatives and to convince people to fight and argue against their own interests, without actually appealing to any objective reality. That’s why you can say “believe all women”. Because the point isn’t to honor some objective truth or universal justice, but to advance the cause and advantage of that faction, period. Simple enough.

All he’s really saying is, pick a side, and mine is better. Not better or different in reference to some objective standard. Just better because it’s my side. And because it feels compelling. And because I want to advance it and you suck and deserve to lose because you’re you. It really is that simple. Dress is up as much as you want. But if you wonder why anti-racism looks, in practice, do much like racism, it’s because that’s all it is. It’s just an intellectual marketing campaign to make a certain kind of racism seem intellectually and emotionally palatable and reasonable to act on.

We’ve been without racism for too long, maybe. We couldn’t live without it. We want it back. We need it back. So we need some framework to support it. The idea of being judged by the content on our character is an outdated theory based on a naive religious conception, where all humans existed relative to some universal objective standard against which all could be judged, and to which people like MLK appealed, arguing that racism was itself inconsistent with the stated values of the larger society.

That trick won’t work now, because that conceptual framework is dead. So with both religion and modernism properly buried, it’s time to get on with the inevitable result, where you take away the common ground and common judge between all peoples. The battle for survival. In which survival and advantage itself is the only argument needed, and success is the only judge.

What is racism?

It is not the assignment of negative characteristics by race. It’s the reduction of identity to a single factor, race. It’s saying that you are your race, leaving no room for the individual. That’s racism. It’s ideological. It’s a way of seeing all value, interpreting all action, making all value judgments, as if race were the primary and only valid dimension of identity for a person. As if all there was to know about them was exhausted by knowledge of their race.

Politics and power

Why argue that all motivations an action are power? So you can apply power. People seek a moral justification for the application of force in service of the causes they desire to advance. They want moral authority to act.

Civilizations differ mostly in what they take for granted. That’s where the real differences lie. In the premises that ubdergird everything built on top of them. Not in the actions themselves, or what humans are capable of (humans are fairly similar across time), but in the whole structure underlying an action that makes it seem justified, so that you don’t even have to think about it.

So you can have a law today that says, give the first portion to these people and not to these people. And if those groups are racially defined, what then? That’s clearly racial bias, totally obviously, it totally fails the test of reversal and categorical imperative. It’s blatantly racism and racial preference. But if we’re so different and so much better, how is it that we can do such things and think them justified? Why can you do it? Because you have a system of moral justification behind it.

According to modern political and ethical theory, the system is rigged, as a fundamental premise, therefore it is justified to rig the sysytem. There’s not even such a thing as an unrigged system, according to postmodernism. Just an argument about how and who you’re going to rig it for. Who you’re happy to see benefit and who you are unhappy to see benefit. If all systems are rigged and all ethics are relative, why you should feel the need to correct for such things, or in what way correction differs in any way ethically from whatever bias currently predominates, is entirely beyond me.

What higher justification is there for tampering with who or who isn’t centralized or marginalized? If they’re all the same. If, over time, you succeed to such a degree that the roles flip, are you then obligated to work to reverse things again? That certainly happened many times in China. One group would dominate, another would be marginalized, then eventually there would be a war, millions would die, the board would be reset, and now the positions would be reversed. And the whole thing would begin all over again. Then flip again.

Assuming, as postmodernism does, that there is no real structural or selective reason that one group tends to succeed, that all differences are arbitrary and unreal and all success is manipulation. If that’s the case, why favor one manipulation over another? In particular, why bother working to tear down one manipulation just to bring up another, a process that’s likely to be very messy and difficult. Why bother, if it’s all the same?

Society as a sexual dialogue

Society is a kind of dialogue between men and women. Women set the expectations and establish conditions for their acceptance and presence, and men enforce them. Men are the cannon women fire at the world to blast away threats, a force to reshape conditions and create ordered spaces (nests) in a way that they find acceptable to occupy.

(A side note: the forces and qualities we’re about to discuss are masculine and feminine representationally, not specifically male or female. Within sexes there are extremes at either end, and a lot of overlap in the middle. But a big difference emerges in their cultures, the dominant and extreme examples of that type, and the existence of these cultures is perfectly explicable by statistics. Both men and women are heavily over-represented at the extremes of their endemic tendencies, and well-represented in the averages, and that’s what you notice, not the outliers.)

Men and women are adapted neurologically and emotionally to engage in this process. Women carry a higher threat response detection system, and men carry a higher threat system response system. Psychologically we characterize these qualities as neuroticism and aggression. Biologically they seem to be mediated by relative levels of sex hormones.

It is often hard to get men listen or to pay attention to or care about an issue. Much harder than it is to get women to listen or care. But once men do notice they will attempt to smash the problem. They don’t try to just listen to or understand it, they try to attack it, remove it, solve it, and confront it so that it will go away and the threat response alert will subside. The threat response system of women, that negative emotion, is actually much harder to understand and deal with for men, and is very stressful to them, so they maintain a fairly high barrier to it. And when they do listen to it their instinct is aggression, response, and enforcement. Deal with the problem and remove it.

So a lot of how society goes and what it does and is like, what the rules that govern it are, depends on a handful of things. First, how willing are the sexes to listen to each other the appropriately? Conversely, how willing are they to dismiss or misunderstand or mischaracterize or dismiss the concerns and strategies of the other sex? How willing and able are they to stand up to the other sex when it’s actually needed? And how do they negotiate that process?

Other factors that matter a lot are: first, how much license and purview is there for the use of aggression by men to solve problems? And in what way are they using it, and what systems exist to control and direct and properly make use of that instinct productively and not destructively? In other words, how well has the society harnessed and socialized and made proper use of masculine aggression?

Another thing that matters a lot is how the threat detection system of women is being heard and responded to, and what mechanisms exist for shaping or altering the way in which information is absorbed and alerts are generated. How well has the society harnessed and regulated and socialized a healthy version of feminine neuroticism? And there certainly is an unhealthy version of threat sensitivity. One where concerns about threats are too widespread or reactions to them are too extreme, resulting in overreaction, overstimulation, depression, paralysis, excessive fear. Both unregulated aggression and unregulated neuroticism can result in an authoritarian society.

Often when people talk about the feminizing of society or the masculinizing of society they are referring specifically to these two tendencies. The tendency toward negative emotions, and the tendency toward aggressive responses. There is a way in which you could get the worst of both worlds, where you have highly elevated threat sensitivity combined with highly aggressive responses. Those two together are kind of societal nightmare scenario, and disaster won’t be far behind.

At the same time, extremely low threat sensitivity combined with a lack of assertiveness and aggressiveness in confronting dangers is also a terribly dangerous combination, in a world where are genuine threats do exist. Too much and too little of both masculine and feminine tendencies are equally dangerous. Both societies are quite likely to destroy themselves or others, but in different ways.

The second, through a failure to see and a failure to care and a failure to act, and the first, through fearing too much and caring too much and doing too much. One imbalance pushes you toward an extreme of undifferentiated chaos and dissolution, while the other drives you toward excessive and tyrannical order and oppression.

The ideal balance of both exists in a proper relationship between the two, that makes use of the strengths and the failures of each self correct. The danger of excessive alert is mitigated by insensitivity and a higher threshold to responding to those alerts, and a higher potential for confrontation and action is mitigated by a higher sensitivity threshold. The danger of a tendency toward excessive alertness is mitigated by a lower potential for aggressive response, and the higher potential for aggressive response is mitigated by the lower potential for excessive alert.

Locating both tendencies at the same time in a single person, or a single group, uniformly is pathway to the recipe for disaster I already outlined. By maintaining both separately in tension with one another, you create a balance that makes use of the strengths of both, while mitigating the weaknesses of both.

Anyway, the true problem is that they aren’t really meant to work in isolation from one another. They are meant to work in concert. Each is tuned biologically and psychologically for optimization in specific circumstances. But those circumstances themselves are not the limit of life or its demands. And it is possible for manipulation of those circumstances, either through accidents of history or by structures of design or through technology, to cause unintended consequences and distortions in how they work.

For example, an instinct that is tuned to be useful in one circumstance may be misleading or problematic in another. Aggression and lack of sensitivity that can be useful in dealing with external threats and problems in an unstructured environment may not be as useful when it’s used internally in more intimate and structured environment. At the same time,a heightened sensitivity to threats that is tuned very well for an internal and highly structured intimate environment might prove to be excessive and give distorted results when its object is extended to a wide and varied and wild unstructured external environment.

Neither is exactly right or wrong. Both sensitivity and insensitivity can be a problem. And aggression and lack of aggression can be a problem. Because, you genuinely don’t know which is required or how much of each is needed in the vast variety of circumstances that life is going to provide. That’s why we’ve got both, and why both are balanced in a fundamental tension.

If you try to just resolve or remove that tension, you’ll break the system. Each one needs its limitations, its safeguards, its antagonistic opposite. You cannot simply endorse one or the other. They both need to be operating in concert with one another, with an understanding that each is tuned for a specific purpose and set of circumstances where it will operate optimally.

That doesn’t mean you can’t take them into differing and opposing circumstances, in fact you’ll likely have to. Life will require and demand you to set foot outside realms that your natural biological and psychological makeup isn’t tuned for. That’s normal. The important thing is to be aware of the full toolset so you can, at minimum, be self-aware and do some self-correction of your natural instincts. That doesn’t mean suppression, it means adaptation. Aggression that might be useful in confronting one set of circumstances will need to learn to adjust and tune itself properly to work as it should in another set.

The dangers of an overly masculinized society can tend in two main directions. Along the axis of barbarity, you have the tendency not to care about conditions, to let them be wild and rough, like a frontier mining camp or a roving band of warriors. There’s power, but it’s wild and unregulated and not directed toward any higher goal or conditions, it’s just a struggle of one against another. It’s tooth and claw. Along the axis of tyranny, you can have a focused and powerful excess of aggression that seeks to confront and remove every possible problem, with no concern for the consequences. Excess of civilizing power, a steamroller that rolls over everything, a cannon that blasts away everything in its path. The first possibility particularly tends to result when you have men in a society alone, without the influence of women. It’s a chaotic society, but if you’re entering a wild and dangerous new territory, it is the sort of society that can come in and survive and not be too concerned about all the danger and chaos. But it’s not the sort of place anyone would want to live long term, much less raise a family or be able to enjoy the peace and prosperity of a stable situation.

Tyrannical societies can actually exist with the blessing and motivation of the women, if that aggression serves their interests in creating the sort of conditions they desire. You might not find a lot of women who want to directly participate in it (though there have been some notable exceptions), but you might find plenty who motivate it, simply by their demand for an ordered and controlled landscape and the removal of perceived threats. If their standards for order are exceptionally high, and their threat concerns are exceptionally high, and you combine that with a fully empowered masculine aggression that’s willing to go to any lengths to address those concerns, well, stuff will get done, for sure. The world will be ground beneath the boot of that empire. That’s not necessarily an overly masculine and aggressive society at its heart, but the outward effects will certainly appear that way. It’s fairly likely that the women, in their own way, are on board and contributing to the action of the men, rather than counterbalancing it. But there are also societies where the aggressive action of the men has become disconnected from its counterbalances and limits and the concerns of women and has become tyrannical in a destructive way, so that internal and external harm is being done. It may be useful to have a lion to throw at the world, but you probably don’t want a lion acting that way in your own house. You end up with a system that marches on, caring nothing for what effects it has, so long as it gets where it’s going. It never stops to count the cost, not only to others, but to itself, throwing away whatever slows it down and not caring. That’s a masculinized society gone wrong, one that accepts the agression run rampant either in chaos or in tyrannical order, and no longer has any feelings or sensitivity or alarms to alert it to the unintended (or even the reality of the intended) consequences. It’s power without conscience, either focused and directed or unrestrained and wild. It’s organization without relationship. It’s mechanical and heartless. It treats the world, including people, as merely things to be manipulated. The special interest in things, in mechanisms (rather than people), and the ability to dissociate from the specific characteristics of a situation or person so you can approach it as an abstract or technical problem, is a common quality among men, and it’s had some amazing results, allowing us them to tackle all kinds of problems very effectively, but it can have some terrible results also, if you go all in on the abstract, technical, and mechanistic approach without retaining and valuing any voice from conscience, without any sensitivity to the emotional and personal realities of the things you’re manipulating. From the perspective of power over the world, it’s very useful to focus on technical power, in viewing the world abstractly or scientifically or mathematically. But although that’s one way to approach the world, and abstraction and dissociation do grant technical knowledge and power, it is not a complete way to address reality, or human activity and understanding. It isn’t wrong, in fact it’s very useful. But it isn’t sufficient. It’s narrow, and can easily get lost in its own pragmatism, rushing ahead without asking why or asking other pertinent questions about the net effects. It’s usefulness and power are non-specific, and depends for its value to an enormous degree on the checks and feedback that a more personal and wholistic approach address. A science or a technique are only as good as their underlying assumptions, the fundamental concepts of meaning and value that form their heart. And those concepts are not themselves matters of technique or manipulation. They are intimate, so close to where we are standing that it’s infinitely easy to take them for granted. And they’re complex, extending across multiple dimensions of meaning and value, many of which are in tension and can be easily thrown out of balance by placing too much power behind one or another. That is why technology often gets used in such unanticipated ways, and has so many unanticipated effects. Because the people who made them insufficiently appreciated that it was humans that would actually make use of those technologies. They they were tools only, and their use would be guided by differences in value and meaning other than those of the people who made them. And once you let it out into the world you don’t really have control of it any more or know what people will do with it. This applies to objects, obviously, but also to institutions, structures, and even ideas. The failure to anticipate what someone with different assumptions and inclinations that you might do with your idea has been a point of pain for many a philosopher and political idealist. You incorrectly assumed that the limits for its use were built in, when in reality you simply assumed them because that’s what you would do. Some people simply get on with their part of the work and don’t really worry about what’s being done with it at all. Abstraction and did association allow you that luxury, to simply play your part in the machine, do your part well, and not really worry about anything more complex than that. Institutions, ideas, businesses, ideologies, these are all machines in their own way. We build them for a purpose and set them running. Their abstraction and distance and many moving parts make them very powerful. We can build a machine of action made up of tens of thousands of people. It may be so complex that it’s not even in theory possible for one hand to truly know what the other is doing. Does that make the machine evil? No. It’s merely a powerful tool, an automation, a mechanism. It’s power is only as good or as bad as the fundamental values and meaning that guide it. And it’s only as good as the systems that provide balance and feedback and maintain the value and sanctity of the individual are. Because the world doesn’t need institutions. People, individuals, need institutions. People make them up, but the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. The whole point of our tools is to serve our values and our meaning, to better the individuals that created them.

If we don’t take care, we can create a monster without even realizing it, giving it a corrupt heart and no ears to hear nor eyes to see. We are dangerous gods. That isn’t the same as being bad. We can be dangerous to evil, dangerous and effective for good. All goodness, as well as all evil, relies on having a fundamental capacity to assert and promote and preserve a value or meaning. That’s true from snails to trees to people to politics. What makes us dangerous is what makes us powerfully good or powerfully evil in effect. But the processes that determine which way that arrow flies lie deeper and closer and are tangled right up in the core of being.

Mythologically, this is why dangerous forces like fire and lightning and storms have often been personified as male. Because that is where we often see this story repeated. The father gods and the warrior gods have the power to order the world and civilization, but also to strike it down. One god might set up a kingdom, but his brother might murder him and set it ablaze. They come from the same origin, the same source of power, but one is the just king and the other is the evil king. It’s not for nothing that Mufasa and Scar are brothers, to use a contemporary example. And there are dozens of examples across myth and literature. It’s part of the essential truth of our experience we constantly retell to remind ourselves.

One problem with the idea of an overly feminine society is the frequent problem of people being unwilling to admit that it exists. It isn’t unequal, though it can be, but it is different. And often you can’t see it until it crosses over into its minority domain.

The power of the thing in itself; the power of art, of the whole undifferentiated, integrated, living complexity.

The difference between teasing and malicious intent.

Teasing is certainly something I’ve dealt with my my life. I was teased mercilessly in elementary and middle school, as well as kicked around physically quite a bit. So if anyone is likely to see teasing as something negative, it’s me. But it never bothered me very much, except in the way a persistent fly is annoying. It never caused me any personal doubt or pain or distress, only annoyance. Considerable annoyance, but still only annoyance.

And I think in part that’s because there was a positive teasing culture in my own family. There was a lot of teasing from my dad and grandpa and with my cousins, even from my mom occasionally. But it was always clear, first, that they were playing and it was a kind of game, second, that they loved me and cared about me, third, that there were limits, and fourth, that everyone was willing to be teased themselves and take it in good humor. There was a sense that none of us took ourselves too seriously.

Experiencing non-malicious teasing actually gave me the fortitude and confidence not to be bothered by malicious teasing. It was a kind of play that actually developed my ability to face my own faults and the faults of others without letting it upset me. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was learning from being teased. Learning to recognize subtle social cues and learning how to adapt and survive as an individual within the group.

Within any social group, especially the bigger and the more diverse it gets, the greater the tension generated by the differences between the members. Another person is always a kind of threat to your own individuality and identity and desires. At the same time, having different people around you makes your own particularness more clear. And all of that can be hard to face.

Belonging to a group can be hard. Finding a place in it is a tricky process. But for all that it demands from you, a group can also give back a lot. Granted that others often restrict and threaten your identity, they can also help you see and realize it, by helping you see yourself in contrast to others and discover a unique role in the context of something larger than yourself. In a healthy social relationship those personal differences can arise and be recognized and integrated within the group identity. But it’s wrong to assume that there isn’t an inherent problem and threat to the whole concept of sharing space with people who aren’t you.

In such a circumstances you need some mechanism to bring those differences to the surface, as well as all the tension that they generate. And you need a way to recognize and address and relieve that tension. One of the ways that humans often relieve tension is through humor. Humor often involves a certain amount of teasing, picking out the particularities and little things that we do and just poking at them a bit. Bringing them to the surface. And having a laugh about them.

Those differences may or may not be a real problem; to some degree any significant difference between people is always a kind of problem. Teasing and humor allow you to recognize and relieve some of that tension in a way that does not (ideally) descend into actual maliciousness. It allows us to struggle with one another, openly recognize our differences and threats, wrestle with them a bit, have it out a bit, and then laugh and be friends instead of enemies.

Good teasing doesn’t arise from the desire to exclude or expel someone from the group, but rather is a kind of negotiation among the group, where awareness and acknowledgement of our own and one another’s faults and virtues, combined with not taking each other too seriously and not taking ourselves too seriously, allows us to take our place in the group. It’s a cathartic negotiation and mock struggle that ends in mutual respect, or at least tolerance.

The positive version of teasing and hazing is a kind of ritual exposure of our own vulnerabilities and our concerns about one another, and an affirmation that we can take it and live with it and with one another. It’s a signal of willingness among the members to display and have recognized their differences and acknowledge and accept and survive the inherent tension that they create.

In this way, by going through this process, you earn the respect and acceptance of the group. The one kind of person who really can’t belong is the person who takes themself so seriously that they won’t play the game and won’t allow themselves to be taken any less than completely seriously. That’s a dangerous bid for untouchability, inequality, and hegemony. Even a hegemony of reactivity and sensitivity (rather than one of dominance and insensitivity) is still a hegemony; any kind of exceptionalism is a challenge to the group dynamic. That kind of attitude simply isn’t compatible with a group-negotiated society.

A good group will have an idea (that they have worked out in relationships with one another) what is and is not malicious, they and will push back on any truly malicious content and punish it. And malicious teasing does happen, both within and between groups. But to characterize all the activity of teasing as malicious, the sorting out if differences, recognizing and even criticizing them, thus relieving group tensions, that is a serious mistake. Completely banning it and avoiding it removes fundamental way in which humans become able to live with each other. Much like many forms of play and freedom, people can and will get hurt. But it is also how we develop the capacity to live with and in the world as it is. You can’t lose it without losing something more than merely its liabilities.

If you and I couldn’t make a joke about each other safely, because the stakes between us are always so high and so serious, then we can’t be in relationship; we must be at war. If our differences can’t be taken unseriously or casually or with humor, then they present a real threat to one another. And it won’t be long before things go beyond the possibility of relationship and necessitate estrangement and avoidance, or else must progress to negotiation by force (legal, social, martial, or physical).

So the question we have to ask ourselves, as inviduals and as a society, is, is that the choice we want to make? Do I want to be in relationship with these people, do I need to be in relationship to them? What are the likely results of shifting our interactions to the domain of force? Will it get me what I want? What do I want? What do I stand to gain or lose?

I’m not saying we should all start teasing one another. But I am saying that maybe the crusade against it isn’t so obviously and simplistically positive as we have been led to believe. And we might want to think about what kind of world we want to live in, with what kind of people and in what kinds of relationships. Because people really are different. And taking away their mechanisms for adapting to the threat of group membership won’t make them less sensitive and threatened by the imposition the group represents.

The only way to overcome and negate those differences by force would be through the application of absolutely tyrannical power and suppression. Would that be better than allowing people to sort such things out, within reasonable (largely socially defined, not legally defined) limits? The moment you start using hard power to regulate your interactions with other people, you’re not really in a relationship any more. You’ve passed beyond that; you’ve precluded negotiation. Is that how we want to learn to live with one another? Is that better than facing the risks of being teased?

Criticism is easier than creation

There are always going to be those who seek to hold others hostage and hold art hostage and hold speech hostage with their own complaints. It’s much easier to criticize a work of creativity than it is to produce one. In particular, the complaint that something is inadequate or imperfect, and therefore is corrupt and worthless, is a very specious complaint. If we’re going to wait for art to be perfect, or worse yet wait for people to be perfect, until it pleases everyone, then you’re going to wait forever.

Darby O’Gill and the Little People is a good example. Some people may have heard that “Irish people” don’t like it because it stereotypes them. And as a result feel obligated to criticize it and feel morally bad about enjoying it. Agreeable, socially conscious, and conscientious people especially will be easily swayed by such appeals. They want to do the right thing, they care what other people think, and they fundamentally want to validate other people’s feelings and acede to their demands. They want to clean up and straighten the shared environment and set things to right. So out it goes, or at least give it a good flogging whenever you approach it. And, frankly, that’s a pretty extreme approach.

The alternative extreme response is to say, I don’t give a $#!* what those people think, I only care what these people think, and these people say it’s a fun movie, so get off my back and stop trying to tell me what I can and can’t enjoy.

A more patient and balanced approach that’s willing to waste time on such trivial moral injunctions as “it’s wrong to enjoy a Disney movie about a leprechaun” would take the time to negotiate between these extremes and consider the objections and responses on their own merits.

Is it reasonable to make moral claims against works of art, particularly past works of art? Maybe. That might not be a sufficient justification for censoring them, though. Do people have the right to deprive others of the right to enjoy what art they want to enjoy? It’s not clear that that’s the case. Not, at least, without some serious argumentation beyond “I’m not happy about it.” or “Some people aren’t happy with it.” After all, you can find people who will happily object to anything, regardless of intent or effect. People are sensitive, people are unreasonable, and people are jerks, so you can’t set your clock by the reactive potential of other people’s feelings or opinions (or by their lack of them, because those people might be insensitive unreasonable jerks).

To the claim that this work or any work is wrong purely because it stereotypes (in this case) Irish people; well, when it comes to art, that’s a somewhat incoherent, inarticulate objection. What do you mean by stereotype? Is there a difference between a stereotype and a representation? Is it an accurate stereotype, with a reasonable basis? Is it a negative stereotype? What exactly is being objected to? What would you prefer? What substitute do you provide? All portrayals are, in some sense, stereotypes. Because they’re all limited, they all have to come down to a specific character of some type. Even counter-stereotypes can become, themselves, stereotypes, like female mechanics in cartoons. What seemed creative once can quickly become a trope. And avoiding any defined content or consistency by constantly shifting your representations so they have no stable or common elements simply hollows out the category and deprives it of any meaning. Any choice to depict something means picking a specific and limited angle on it. It also means picking what stands out of the crowd of generic non-specificity. And it is possible to do so quite affectionately.

The Dutch are stereotypically tall and beautiful. The fact is, though, that I’m of Dutch descent and have a Dutch name, but I’m not beautiful and tall. I also don’t wear wooden shoes or grow tulips or put my fingers in dikes. I am pretty frugal though. And I’m a little distant and cool when I meet people. And none of these stereotypes, whether true or false, bother me. They amuse me. They’re part of my history. They’re idiosyncrasies; they have character. They may not reflect me personally, but if I wanted to do that I could get a mirror, or write my own story about being a Dutchman, that would be frightfully dull because it would lack any obvious qualities connecting it to my heritage.

So I take portrayals of the history and idiosyncrasies and stereotypes of my people in good humor. And all the jokes about the poor qualities of Dutchmen that I’ve heard, I heard with delight mostly from other Dutchmen. We enjoy seeing ourselves poked fun at. Partly because we see some truth in it, partly because it relieves tension over our own flaws and idiosyncrasies. It let’s us see ourselves and welcome ourselves, even the less beautiful bits, which surely do exist. And being mature enough to be seen that way let’s others welcome us, too. It lets us belong, in a way. Being big enough and secure enough not to take ourselves so seriously is often a precondition for being part of society.

Of course no one cares much or knows much about the Dutch to even bother stereotyping them. And that doesn’t bother me. Why should anyone be expected to know or care about us but us? It’s our history, and other people have their own. Frankly, the only major Dutch character I ever noticed that I can think of was Goldmember (from Austin Powers). And I thought he was hilarious. It was a delight just to be noticed, and to get some play as a subject of humor. And, frankly, the dry, peeling skin and freckles reminded me of my dad.

I’m getting off topic, but I just wanted to dispel the idea that all stereotyping is bad. Not even all negative stereotyping is bad. In fact, it can be very useful. Stereotypes are large scale, broad abstractions, and that’s actually a very interesting way to look at yourself and at others. It allows broad generalities of character to emerge and reinforces a sense of shared identity, in both the positive and negative qualities and habits and history we share. My own wife never even perceived how southern her own family was until she married me, who has no southern roots nor experience. They are very southern, in fact, being from Texas and Florida. But if you spend all your time with people just like you, you may not even realize that you have a thing and a history and a unique character until someone else comes along with a different thing and a different history to compare it to.

When it comes to art, though, the main job of the artist isn’t to make a profile of all the possible variations in a population and portray all possible permutations of humanity to fulfill some sort of moral quota. Their job is to tell a good story. Not everyone’s story. This story. And maybe a story that means something to the people it’s being told by and about and to.

Did anyone every decide that they hated Irish people because of Darby O’Gill? Or, more probably, did it make people who might otherwise have never given them much thought or heard any of their stories learn to love them and be come interested in them? Did it create something that connected people and added to their lives? Was the intent of Walt Disney in making the movie to harm or belittle Irish culture? Or was it meant to be a fun, delightful romp in a corner of a culture that has given pleasure to generations of Irish people, and now to plenty of people who aren’t Irish? Is anyone taking Darby O’Gill seriously as a work of exhaustive scholarship on Irish demographics that can serve as a substitute for knowing or understanding actual Irish people? Or is it just a fun story that gives some people an introduction to Irish folklore?

Since the question of intent was raised, it’s probably worth considering why Walt Disney made his movies, and why he made this particular movie. Walt Disney universally made movies out of stories because he loved them and wanted to share them and believed in their value. That was it. He got the idea for this particular movie after visiting an Irish cultural festival. The story itself is based on a book by an Irish author. Disney spent three months studying Irish folklore in Dublin and consulting with traditional folktellers as preparation for adapting the book. It stars one of the most handsome and charismatic men ever to grace the screen, and the actress who played the female lead won a golden globe. So everyone was truly giving it their best. They saw in this story something that would delight children, that had been delighting Irish children already, and that Disney believed had universal appeal and deserved to be shared with the whole world.

So to those who wish to play spoiler with this movie, at least, I am sorry for your feelings. I’m sorry you can’t enjoy this story which in many ways reflects and shares the love of your own heritage. Those are your feelings, you have a right to them. You just don’t get to take this good away from everyone else and dictate their feelings for them. You don’t get to hold the world hostage with your own displeasure. If it helps, you don’t have to watch. And you have my sympathy. But not my assent.

I think one question worth asking is why critics go after the targets they typically go for. The easy targets, like Darby O’Gills and Dr Seuss, things and people like that. The ones that seem to have good intentions. Possibly it’s because they sense weakness, a desire to please. And that makes them vulnerable. I doubt Irish people are going to come to America and complain on the street on St. Patrick’s day in New York that the people there are perpetuating stereotypes. They might get punched in the face or made fun of. There seems to be an instinct, like the instinct children have for manipulating parents, of knowing when and how someone is vulnerable and how to use their positive instincts against them. There are things my kids would try with my wife they would never try with me. Simply because they know it won’t work and won’t find any traction. My wife is more sympathetic than I am, and that creates an opening children are quick to try to exploit.

So no one is putting much work into criticizing The Boondock Saints or actual Irish Americans (who do more than anyone to reinforce stereotypes about them), partly because The Boondock Saints are badass, and partly because actual Irish people would just tell you to go to hell. If you’re not at least pretending to care what some people think and don’t feel at least some obligation to back up or share or validate their feelings, possibly at the expense of your own, the whole effort just falls apart. You’re upset? Bummer. I’m not. You think I should be? Well, I’m not, hit the bricks.

Women, in general, seem to be more likely as a group to be willing to sacrifice their own feelings for the sake of agreement with and validation of other people’s. Men seem to be, as a group, fairly bad at this. And there’s a usefulness to both instincts. Because it’s not always clear at the outset what the correct response is. You need some resistance, because it might be merited, and you need some consideration, because it also might be merited.

What you can’t do is take either reaction uncritically for granted as correct. Once you’ve got past the initial instinctive reactions, if it’s an issue that really matters, then it’s time set both aside and go for the measured approach discussed above. In this mode, you aren’t obligated to any reaction based on someone else’s positive or negative reactions, and aren’t obligated to any conclusion based on the demands or lack of demand of someone’s feelings. Just because it doesn’t bother you at all, or you like it, doesn’t mean that I can’t find things to criticize. And just because it bothers you a lot, doesn’t means I’m obligated to agree with you to validate those feelings, if I can’t find sufficient justification.

Feelings are feelings. You’re not obligated to them positively or negatively. They’re instinctive reactions, informations, signals to be tested. They’re an alert, but they’re low resolution and unexplicated. They draw attention. And that’s good. But an alert to check something out isn’t the same as understanding it and making a balanced judgment about it.

Why are humans so powerful?

What is a durable foundation for a life? What will last and create power, regardless of circumstances or technology? What is the fundamental mode of being that can make humans succeed and grow regardless of their situation? It cannot be something we invent, it must be something we already possess or possess access to, because humans already were able to spread into and succeed in all kinds of places long before current technologies existed.

Humans are a kind of ultimate predator. Predators require a specific territory to survive and specific prey they are able to make use of to survive. We are not reliant on a specific prey or a specific territory, but have in a way abstracted the concept into a universal adaptation and made the world itself our prey, our territory.

So what are these amazing abilities? What is it that gives us our power? I believe the answers are family and religion. What do I mean by that? What is the minimum definition of a family unit, and what is the minimum definition of religion? Minimum definitions are important, because of course there is a huge sliding scale to which both structures can be iterated. But what is the fundamental cellular unit that divides and grows and becomes a functioning adaptive organism?

Family is perhaps the easiest to answer, in some ways, because it has so much precedent for comparison in the rest of the natural world. A similar strategy has been used by virtually all complex life for uncountable eons, and has been terrifically successful. And that is, simply, diocetious sex. You can build or rebuild an entire civilization from scratch if you have just that beginning, that single complete unit of humanity.

If you look at other highly dominant species that exist at the top of their territories, like wolves, elephants, and orcas, who are able to go almost anywhere and succeed and are almost unchallengeable (except by humans), they share similar powerful social structures to humans. They have the power of the pack. And you can reduce them down to a single pair, but just that single pair, with time, has the power to build a new dynasty. And a single pair entering a new territory can, with time, make it their own, expanding and iterating from that single cellular structure. They hold the power of creation and adaptation, just as it exists in parallel on an actual cellular level, and the two gametes hold the power of combination, recombination, adaptation, and growth. X and Y together hold the power the create a a new living, growing organism, and the dance between them allows for variation and adaptation.

Yin and yang, creation and destruction, order and chaos, sun and moon, father and mother, sky and earth, bird and sea, Gaia and Uranus, Apsu and Tiamat, Izanagi and Izanami, Vishnu and Shiva, Shu and Tefnut, and all the various ways that dyad has been represented, give birth to the universe. Our universe, specifically. The world of human life and experience and endeavor. That is its basis. These are all ways of representing this process and the nature of our experience and our world. Put these two together, and you get a creative force that produces all the world of human experience and civilization you see around you.

So humans have a power that is common to all complex life, and in particular have the power shared by the apex species we see around us. The power of sexual differentiation (shared by virtually all complex life), on top of that the power of family (bonded pairs that can create and raise their young, adding to the structure, an ability shared by other mammals), and the power of the pack (a durable and extendable social connection between the family members that gains complexity as it grows, allowing competition and cooperation in a joint endeavor united around the family unit, making them a kind of super organism).

Wolves win against virtually any top land predator because you’re never dealing with just one wolf. And a wolf alone isn’t complete, they’re vulnerable. But two wolves, given time, can become an unstoppable force. Orcas are similar, able to take on even the largest animal ever to have lived, the blue whale, because you’re not dealing with just one orca, you’re dealing with the pack, a super-organism with distributed parts.

Elephants are slightly more unusual because they’re not predators, but they are also dominant shapers of their environment, not passive hard animals. They are as dangerous as any predator, and use their abilities to dominate and shape their territory, as predators do. They just happen to also eat grass. On its own an elephant is a pretty serious threat, but lone elephants are still weak and vulnerable and incomplete. It is their family structure that keeps them alive, the knowledge and protection and guidance of the family unit that makes it possible for such a large animal to survive in such challenging conditions.

Why talk so much about animals? Well, partly because sometimes you have to get outside of yourself to see yourself. Seeing some of the same qualities you possess and take for granted and observing how they look and what they do in someone else, or even something else, can help you understand yourself better.

Religion is a much trickier matter to explain. The fact that humans are fundamentally religious should should be plainly obvious by now. There are over six billion people in the world, thousands of cultures across the globe of all different kinds of people, spread across time, and yet we find the same things repeated again and again. We find religions everywhere we go. There’s a wonderful variety, but a lot of commonality too. Our brains seem to have a circuit for it.

When it comes to the question of what make humans human, religion seems to be a big part of that. I wouldn’t exactly say that it’s the cause, so much as that’s what we call the net effect of humanity. Humans are aware of time, of causes, of the past and future, in particular they are aware of themselves. And they possess the ability to abstract from their experiences, represent the world to themselves through their ideas, words, and images, and that gives them access to a special kind of power and a level of interaction with the world that no othe creature possesses. And I would call that level of interaction religion. We are conscious, we have ideals, we have an understanding of time, and we are able to choose to act in the present in a way that conforms to a vision of the world that we believe in, that we desire, or that we want to embody.

Religion is a narrative. It is a conceptualization of ourselves and the world around us (and other fellow creatures). It is a way of representing what these things are and what we are to ourselves and to others. It is a way of describing our understanding, as well as our purposes and goals and values. It explains the meaning behind these things. Objects, people, actions, decisions. The more developed it becomes, the more things it brings into its narrative. And that in turn brings them into our world of understanding and action and gives us power over them. We can name things, we can pull them as distinct entities out of the undifferentiated miasma of sensory experience. We know what they are, what they mean to us, what we can do with them. We can manipulate and decompose and modify and recombine them.

Intelligence, in a way, makes this possible. Or it makes it easier. Higher level intelligence helps with abstraction. Consciousness is surely a large part of it, whatever it is that makes that work as it does. Having a concept of me, you, that, now, then, these are the sorts of things that we take for granted and hardly appreciate because everything we do is built in them. We can’t imagine our existence without them. We could imagine being more or less intelligent that we are, comparatively, but unconsciousness lies beyond the scope of our imagination, except as a purely negative concept. Not-thought, not-being.

Religion is simply the way that we articulate our cumulative narrative abstraction of our existence to ourselves to we can think and act in the world. It doesn’t matter who you are or what your particular beliefs are. If you’re alive and you’re human and you’re conscious, you have a religious framework. You have a structure of value and meaning that allows you to comprehend and act in the world. You may use all kinds of tools within that framework; maybe there is even some fundamental underlying architecture that is common to us all that explains so many of the similarities between us, despite the gulfs of time and space and culture.

But we all have a framework, and that is what makes the universe intelligible to us and what makes us able to act within it. And good lord, are we able to act in it. Especially when you have a sufficient number of people who minds and actions are united in their frame according to a common purpose and understanding. The power is incredible. The danger is incredible too, in much the same way that no one can hurt you like your family can. The most powerful things are all fundamentally dangerous simoly because they are powerful and effective. And they can be effective for good or effective for evil. And the strongest angels make the worst devils

I’m not making any judgments whether any particular religions are or aren’t true, or even what the relation of the whole category of religions are to some separate objective reality is. Those are important internal questions. I’m simply describing what religion, functionally, is, what it does. Why it must be wherever there are humans, and why it is the locus of so much of our power over the world (ourselves included).

And so, to come back to my original question, what is the foundation for a durable, anti-fragile, prosperous, life? A life that can grow and endure despite the vascilations of circumstance? What is the fundamental technology of humanity that lets them adapt and grow and succeed, everywhere?

Faith and family. That’s the fundamental formula. It’s not a specific formula. It doesn’t provide the details. But you won’t find a stronger means to build your foundation, or one with a greater ultimate limit. In fact it’s still not clear what the limits of these mechanisms of human capital are. The Jews are an excellent example. If any people group has been the subject of the accidents of circumstance, as well as the subject of deliberate counter-winds, it’s the Jews. They have a rich history of things going badly. And yet they are one of the most ancient intact people groups in the world, one that has not only survived despite their difficult circumstances, but remained strong and prospered in spite of them. And they originated in a single family. How much has that one group accomplished and survived because of the power of their family and their faith?

Faiths are a kind of wager, a theoretical framework that its members bet on, that it will provide a framework that will overlay on whatever the world really is on some deeper level, and in a way that will be meaningful and useful for human life and development. You have to choose something, and since we lack unmediated and unlimited access to the underlying nature of reality, including ourselves, and certain answers to our most fundamental questions of value and meaning, it will always be a wager. Not choosing is a choice not to be, to become a mere sponge, below the level of human consciousness and activity.

A good faith should speak to all the various dimensions of human life and the world, touching each part of life and experience and bringing them into the realm of intelligibility and action. Faiths that are simple and limited in scale usually fall more into the category of ideology. They work by reducing life down to less than it is, by interpreting all elements of meaning through a single lens. And even a well-developed faith can easily degenerate into ideology if its deeper and more difficult concepts are ignored.

One of the markers of a good faith is that it has iterated its concepts into workable models that span the many dimensions of human life, finding articulation in art, music, architecture, literature, performance, philosophy, scholarship, relationships, the small areas of daily life, and the lives of many different people in different places and circumstances. The ideal religion is, fundamentally, the largest possible playable game, the most universal theory, that brings everything into its unity, that makes them more themselves in that unity rather than ignoring or eliminating their character. A good faith needs to represent the difficult truths about ourselves and about life and the world, not only the ones we prefer, to be honest and effective. That is why faiths invented purely for our own pleasure of affirmation or to fulfill our own limited desires are so shallow and useless. Life demands more of us than that, so any good theory about the world must include more than we would individually wish or need or understand.

On a final note, it’s worth remarking that all human relationships have power. A human’s relationship with a cat or with a volleyball with a face can be enough to keep them alive. And friends and neighbors and countrymen and guildmates are all meaningful relationships. Even the relationships we have with dead people whose thoughts we merely read, or relationships we have with purely fictional characters, can be powerful and meaningful. That’s what’s amazing about people. We’re so darn good at being social that our potential for what we can do with the materials available (fictional, feline, or football as they might be) is astounding. All relationships have value and power. But none have so much power and potential for good or for evil as a union between the sexes before God.

Discrimination

The idea of discrimination is a tough one to crack. People use the word pejoratively, and use it specifically as a justification for the enactment of legal powers and penalties against organizations and individuals. In a purely common sense manner, though, there is no such thing as outlawing discrimination.

All thought, all value assignment, all choice, is discrimination. It is the ability to distinguish the difference between non-equivalent alternatives. Can you tell the difference between pork and chicken? Good, you can discriminate. Do you prefer pork over chicken and use that ability to tell the difference to help you select which you want? Good, you’re using your ability to discriminate in a sensory sense to discriminate in an analytical sense.

Discrimination is the primary function of intelligence. Sponges have almost no discrimination and simply let everything pass through them. It’s all the same to them. They lack selectivity, they lack discrimination. They just sit there and let the current do the work, bringing them whatever it brings them.

The higher up the chain of intelligence you go, the greater the powers of discrimination get. Cows have a little discrimination. They can recognize and avoid danger, but with little detail. They tend to get freaked out and confused by anything unfamiliar. And they spend most of their time just munching away at whatever looks like it’s edible that’s put in front of them.

Predators are far more intelligent, making careful choices about how to use their energy and how to manage their risks. They could die if they choose the wrong target. Not only from injuries, but simply from wasted energy and opportunity. They have to be clever.

Humans are even more capable because we are able to abstract experience into the past and future. We are able to discriminate so cleverly that we can even choose to avoid things that seem, on the surface or in the short term to be to our benefit, in order to achieve a larger or longer term benefit or realize a more complex and developed strategy.

So we may as well forget about getting rid of discrimination. It’s literally responsible for every element of our survival and everything we’ve achieved. We have goals, therefore we have values. Therefore we make choices designed to help us realize those goals.

All of that, every bit, is discrimination. From what kind of food you eat to who you’re friends with to where you live to what you like on television, it’s all discrimination. Who you date, how you do your hair, what clothes you buy, who you vote for, what sports you play, what temperature you like your shower, what deodorant and toothpaste you use, how you speak, what you like to talk about, where you go on vacation, what news outlets your follow, who you hire, what jobs you apply for, it’s all discrimination. You have a value hierarchy, you can tell the difference between things, and you choose those things that align with your value heirarchy and are most likely to realize your goals.

So what do we mean when we say that discrimination is bad, when it’s the basis for everything we do? Perhaps what we mean is, unjustified discrimination is bad. Well, what does that mean? If people are different, and have differing value hierarchies and goals and strategies for pursuing those goals (the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness), then not everyone is going to agree on what is and isn’t justified. Value systems and the resulting choices people make aren’t arbitrary. And if you talk to someone you’ll find out that they have their reasons for preferring and pursuing all the things they pursue.

So, to a degree, what we really mean by saying that we’re against discrimination, is that we’re against discrimination that we don’t agree with. Fair enough. So, since you can’t outlaw discrimination as such, can you, or should you, be allowed to outlaw discrimination that you don’t agree with? In other words, can you or should you be able to outlaw disagreement and mandate a certain set of values, or outlaw a certain set of values, make them legally compulsory, along with their supporting strategies?

Well, obviously we do outlaw certain things. Some things fall right outside the limits of acceptable values and strategies, even in a liberal society. Ownership of certain kinds of substances, certain kinds of weapons, actions that directly infringe on the property rights and essential freedom, of others.

For the sake of protecting those liberties for some, we take them away from others. We take away your right to possess certain things, perhaps we even take away your right to associate and to act freely, through imprisonment, restraining orders, etc.

So let’s have no illusions, we do have a system that is in the business of adjudicating rights and upholding the freedoms of some while taking away the exercise of freedom of others. Particularly those whose values or actions are seen as endangering the rights of everyone else. The main question is where your bias lies. Who do you agree with or disagree with? Which values are you going to forbid and penalize and which are you going to protect? And this is where the system of rights protections comes in, the bill of rights in particular.

Rights give you legal status to assert the privilege of your values and your strategies against the values and strategies of someone else. They’re fundamentally for someone and against someone else. And they’re based around a theory that there are some rights, some values, that are fundamentally better for people (and others that are worse, or dangerous) and that it is upon those values that this particular society (for there are other societies founded on different values) is founded. Freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of association, freedom of the press, freedom of local governance. These are all positive freedoms, things you’re fundamentally allowed to do in America.

These are the backbone of what being American means, in a practical sense. There aren’t any guarantees about what results you’ll get from your particular speech or association. Maybe you’ll speak in a way that makes people think you’re a jerk, maybe you’ll hang out with idiots and fools that get you into constant trouble, maybe your local government will make an ass of itself, maybe you’ll join a religion that makes you act in a very silly manner. You have the freedom to do all of that, because our society and our constitution value open opportunity more than they value mandating any particular choice or outcome.

In America you’re free to be your own brand of idiot (or genius), if that’s what you want. That’s all up to you and your choices. The government won’t mandate your essential value choices for you, and there are few choices deeper and more divergent than speech, religion, local government, and who you associate with. Freedom of thought is assumed, since it underlies all these practical expressions. We don’t generally know what people are thinking inside their heads, though, so our regulations are designed around protecting the visible expression of those assumed internal realities.

There are doubtless going to be some bad outcomes, but you have a right to those bad outcomes. And there’s a deep-seated belief that there’s a value in protecting that right to succeed or fail according to your own strategies. And that the society as a whole will benefit from that process. It’s a very optimistic but risky conception of humanity. And that’s why it also has various safeguards built into it, to prevent that amount of freedom from letting things get too crazy.

There are also some freedoms from, things that other people can’t demand of you. And they’re pretty limited. You’ve got freedom from being legally condemned without due process (trial by jury), as well as freedom from excessive government demands (unjustified search and seizure, as well as having government agents and soldiers stationed in your home, and excessive and nonsensical legal punishments).

These are all ways to limit the power of the government to interfere in your private life, since we are granting the government some power to do so. Your values and strategies can be selected against and punished. We are allowing lawsuits, criminal suits, criminal penalties, and are allowing government to set up rules for the public sphere. Of course back then the power of the government was much smaller, especially the federal government. And a large amount of the work the constitution does of restraining the power of the federal government is vested in the powers and rights granted to the individual states (as well as individual localities and individual people). So the further you go up the ladder of governmental power, the more checks on that power there are. In part simply because individual states, towns, and people have been made so strong.

So the original bill of rights was pretty minimalist. It mostly focused on keeping government intervention out of your affairs and letting nature (or society) have its way, as much as possible. That’s what being American means. You can rise or fall by your own choice. You have a right to your success, if you can swing it, and you have a right to your failure, if you earn that. There is a minimalist predetermined value structure. You get all kinds of freedoms, but no guarantees, because guaranteeing a set of uniform outcomes would require abridging individual freedoms.

Feedback mechanisms and the assignment of responsibility for the results of your values and actions take place at the most localized level. If your municipality wants to spend 90% of their budget on a bridge to nowhere, they have a right to do it. And the consequences will be accrued and observed, and responsibility assigned and responded to, at the local and immediate and personal level. If your experiment goes great, people will see the results and enjoy them and continue further down that strategic line. And if it’s a total boondoggle, people will see and respond to that too. Your rights protect your freedom to fail and suffer just as much as they protect your right to succeed and prosper. And society benefits from both.

One advantage of protecting freedom more and more as the scale gets smaller is that allows experimentation with containment. Individuals may differ in the extreme, but because they only hold a tyrannical mandate over their own life and set of values and actions, not those of others, such wildly divergent experiments can be done fairly safely, without endangering on imposing on everyone.

The main exceptions to what you can do with your freedom have to do with when your exercise of your freedoms impinge on the private spaces of other people. Individual property rights, in particular, get a lot of protection, as well as what you do with your mind, your time, your money, your home, and your speech. You can mostly do what you want, so long as it stays fairly contained to your own sphere and doesn’t adversely or intrusively impinge on others.

Speech is actually an exception. Obviously, no one has to listen to what anyone else has to say, so in a sense people can say whatever they want and it doesn’t matter. But speech has been and is accorded great importance in human society. It is powerful. It is dangerous. So why do we protect it so vigorously? Why not regulate it as an intrusion into the private spaces of others, the same as actions?

Well, first, there seems to be a tacit assumption that words aren’t actions. They’re words. They’re articulated concepts, an abstraction, a representation. They are not an embodied token, they may not even reflect the embodied reality. And there’s a meaningful difference between the two. And so there needs to be a meaningful difference in how you treat and regulate them. Humans think, that’s our whole big thing that gives us power. And speech is how we express that thought, even to ourselves. So freedom of speech protects the most central and fundamental power for adaptation and survival that our species possesses. But, at the same time, thought isn’t action. If it was, we would all be hung. Who among us hasn’t thought something that, had we acted on it, would have ruined us?

There seems to be an underlying belief in our constitution that there’s just something so important about words that there is no good way of regulating them. Possibly the amount of power that would be required to regulate them was considered too much power to grant to the government. Or perhaps they were considered so valuable, that freedom in this area was so important for navigating the challenges of life, that it was essential to protect them at all costs. Some things are considered so sacred, so important, so valuable, that they’re beyond the scope of governmental control. Speech, for America, is part of that.

And there are both dangers and benefits to this. Free speech allows the free exchange of ideas. It allows experimentation and adaptation. It allows issues to be talked out and negotiated. It allows freedom of individual thought. It allows values to be articulated and actions to be made intelligible. And for America that’s something worth preserving in the extreme, because the consequences of attempting to regulate it are, on balance, far more dangerous and far less valuable than the benefits and dangers of freedom.

So, all of this theory runs into some problems when it comes to laws that proscribe discrimination and that put legal restrictions and penalties on speech. You’re not really preventing or outlawing discrimination, that’s impossible; what you’re actually doing is outlawing someone else’s value system. You’re abridging freedom of thought and freedom of values and life strategies. You’re denying that there is any valid disagreement or discussion or difference in values and life strategies and deciding the matter by legal mandate. You’re saying that there isn’t any room for that kind of freedom or that kind of voice here.

And we do do that with some matters. The question is, how justified is this restriction, and how settled are those questions, that there is no use for or room for any more discussion? Generally, America has only assigned that kind of unquestionable authority to the private matters within people’s own lives, or in matters of near-universal agreement. For example, you can’t just take someone else’s stuff, or kill them, or force your way onto their private property, or force people to say certain things (although some modern thinkers have questioned those assertions lately, for various reasons thinking that it is, in fact, justified and not an essential offense).

In general our system is designed around preserving an enormous amount of discrimination, because that’s what human activity is. That’s what thought and freedom are. Everything that matters, everything that means something to us, are the subjects of discrimination, because discrimination and value are inextricably tied. We only perceive it as “discrimination” in the pejorative sense when it’s something we don’t agree with. And we uphold that discrimination is perfectly fine, no matter how actually discriminatory it is, if we agree with it.

So it’s silly to say that any person is pro or anti discrimination. There is just a disagreement about what the appropriate value systems are. And about what things are assumed and what things are compulsory and which are up for discussion. But the restrictions we place have been firmly centered, traditionally, around actions, not speech or thoughts, so the discussion can still take place, even if we are cautious about what actions we let people (including ourselves) take. It’s not good to act on every thought, but it is valuable to think everything through. Everyone has a perspective on value systems and strategies, but we can’t even know they are or understand them if we won’t let people think or talk about them.

Freedom of speech exists so these things can be freely discussed and tested and negotiated. And this is why enacting restrictions on freedom of speech in particular, in connection to matters of discrimination, is so dangerous. It doesn’t just fix the game, it prevents it, and so preempts the entire American enterprise. It brings the process of negotiation to an end and eliminates the fundamental basis for the existence and value of American freedom. It violates its whole reason to exist.

And let’s be clear, the system is dangerous. It can be, at the very least, unpleasant. Allowing others the freedom to think differently and say different things than what you think is aggravating and disorienting and often upsetting. Lord knows I’ve experienced it, even within my own family and friends. But belief in the idea of America is largely about belief that the benefits outweigh the danger, and that value is to be found in the relationship and the negotiation and the process of discussion. And also we recognize that the potential dangers of a tyrannical mandate over speech, especially one administered by the government, are far greater than the potential discomfort of hearing something I don’t like or agree with.

There is a fundamental belief behind our laws that having to hear and respond, to think, to listen, to speak, to discuss, even having to be discomforted, are actually good for us. They force us to articulate and test and elaborate and understand and challenge and make intelligible what we and others think and do. They have an essential benefit that is greater than the cost of unpleasantness that freedom imposes by exposing us to uncontrolled speech.

So, by and large, there is enormous danger in trying to legally regulate speech, especially in the interest of fighting discrimination. It’s a game-breaking act, so far as American society goes. That doesn’t mean that speech doesn’t have consequences. In fact the whole idea in America is to allow speech, as well as actions and the lives of individuals, to have the consequences that are appropriate to them, and for people to see and experience them and learn from them and grow from the process.

But take away the freedom, rig the game, and you take away the possibility of personal growth and development and articulation of your values. It all becomes pre-determined, mandated, a structural factor external to you, something you depend on instead of something you produce. You lose the ability to learn or adapt or test or develop. Without legitimate challenge, you lose legitimate maturity and growth and remain an infant under the care of a controlling parent. You escape the cost of the game, but you lose its rewards.

So speech is, I think, one area where it is profoundly un-American and illiberal to introduce legal restrictions and penalties. It goes against the whole project. If you don’t have a right to free speech then you don’t have the right to freedom of thought or individuality (for better or worse, however you use it). And that’s tyrannical. It’s exactly the kind of thing America was founded to get away from. We wanted to try out what could be achieved by allowing a more complex kind of relationship between people of different kinds, one of constant competition and cooperation and negotiation and success and failure. And it’s been costly, and risky and unstable, but it’s also been a smashing success by many measures. It has unlocked human potential.

OK, that was a long discussion and this is a great time to bow out. But if you want to keep going, let’s take things just a bit further. To what degree, then, when we go beyond speech, do people have a fundamental right to disagree with one another about essential values and strategies? This bring us into the realm of belief and practice. And so I think this question falls under the heading of freedom of religion. A religion is simply a highly articulated system of values and practice. It contains ideas about what people are, what would be best and most valuable to them, theories of human flourishing, and practical prescriptions to help one reach those ends. Ideologies, including political ideologies, are religious in nature, they reflect a certain conception of humanity and its good, as well as strategies to secure it. They may be more or less developed, but all grand narratives of value and action are religious in nature.

It’s a central pillar of American society to try to minimize the degree to which government mandates religious matters (or can control them in your individual and private life). Government can reflect the prevailing religious value systems of a society, in fact you should expect it to. As differing religious narratives rise and fall and gain supremacy, you may even see some gain dominance that conflict with the fundamental premises behind the American project, including its essential freedoms.

That’s all to be expected. But in general the government doesn’t get to tell you that you can’t believe in or discuss Our Lord Cthulhu. We try, so far as we can, to minimize the degree to which those religious narratives are built into the structure of the government and its regulations themselves. Partly this is achieved by minimalism, partly (where it arises naturally through conveyance and representation) this is made more palatable through localization instead of federalism.

You only enshrine the absolute minimum, that allows the most freedom in the system, that can be agreed upon by the largest number, at the highest level, as law, in the overarching structure. You rely on relationships and societies of association to do most of the work at the lower levels (at the level of state, town, neighborhood, workplace, friend group, and family), to hand out appropriate punishments and rewards in the context of those more intimate relationships and social structures and ahred values.

You may be a Jew, I may be a Sikh, your sister may be an Epicurean. But there are probably some basic ground rules we can all agree on, so we can each play the game of life in our own way with a minimum of interference from one another. So the fundamental question becomes, what things are there allowed to be disagreements about? What things do people have a right to discuss and question and differ about? What things does the government have the right to say you can or cannot value differently? And what should be baked into the system as an enforcement of value, and what should be baked into the system as protection against the enforcement of values to protect their individual free practice?

And that is where discrimination laws (which are really an embodiment of a codified, approved formula of value, of active systemic discrimination) come into being. This is also why their justification is almost always couched in terms of things like “systemic racism” or some other form of systemic discrimination, because your solution is itself a kind of active systemic discrimination. And the best justification for enacting systemic discrimination is that that’s the thing you’re responding to. Humans have an innate instinct for equivalent responses (plus a little bonus on top). You respond in kind. You punched me, so I can punch you. So if you want to advance a position and justify making something systemic, you need your enemy to be recognized as having made an equivalent move.

So anti-discrimination laws lie at the front lines of disputes over acceptable thoughts and actions. We have decided that there are some things you are not allowed to have certain opinions about (maybe; you can think them but you might be restricted in saying them), some values you aren’t allowed to take action on (definitely), some strategies based on them that simply aren’t allowed (absolutely). And we grant the government power to rule over these areas and limit them. What are the de minimus limits?

The first thing to realize is how terribly dangerous this question really is, and why people were so cautious at the founding of our country (and so failed to regulate many things) and mostly just let things run their course out in society). People were not remotely in universal accord with one another in 1776. There were bitter disagreements and fear, and much that people wanted to enshrine in the structure of our nation had to be set aside for the sake of keeping it together and winning our independence. Agreement and peace was precious, tenuous, and uncertain.

So the founding fathers, as we call them, understood that they were playing with fire by even addressing this problem, and that the available solutions had a very difficult history. So they erred on the side of minimalism. There was also, possibly, a theory they were upholding (against more continental theories) that you can’t make people good with government dictates. You can’t make people better with the law. You can put fences up around the arena. But the real work takes place inside. It’s a big deal when you decide “you don’t have freedom of choice or thought about this. You can’t value this differently or act differently. You don’t get a choice about that.”

In this sense, all anti-discrimination laws will always be in tension with laws about religious freedom. Because mandating positions on discrimination is a kind of religious mandate. It’s codifying a particular religious answer into law and forbidding dissent. Maybe it’s something as simple as “thou shalt not steal” (and even that one which was once so unquestionable is now up for debate in many places, which is a concerning sign of growing divisions and lack of even the most basic agreement).

Maybe the question something more debatable. No doubt whoever advocates for their own position receiving legal mandates sees their own position as perfectly unquestionable. But one of the facts of democracy, and also of a system that puts limits on federal power and protects religious freedom and freedom of speech, is that those systems are open to a wide array of disagreement.

Of course in all such systems quite a lot ultimately gets ignored. You can’t give equal weight and enforcement to positions and opinions and values held by only a handful among millions. You can’t expect the lives and conditions of 350 million people to be dictated by a handful of Cthulhu worshippers or followers of Flippism. And you can’t give unchecked mandate to the majority either. At the least, they need to be open to criticism and discussion. There needs to be, at minimum, freedom of speech. Not only for the sake of the dissenters, but for the sake of the majority, who may benefit from the process of discussion, challenge, competition, articulation, and negotiation. You may end up with a better, or at least better understood, version of your viewpoint. It promotes continuous update.

At the moment, the temptation is to add more and more things to the list of “things you can’t have a differing opinion on”. Things you can’t act differently on, value differently, understand differently, or even speak about differently. And unfortunately a lot of the things getting added to the list are questions that are far from settled or matters of universal accord. What are the causes of differing outcomes of all kinds? Do racial differences exist? Should you be allowed to believe in them, notice them, or even act on them?

If the answer is no, then that’s actually a problem for concepts such as diversity, as it wipes out the potential benefits it could confer and precludes the possibility that you might have any particular cultural identity or have anything to learn from anyone else. It’s a conundrum. There is an unresolved tension there. But it’s at least not completely obvious that there are no differences between races and cultures, and you should not be allowed to notice or believe in or make judgements about them. If you answer “yes” to the above questions, you’ve opened a whole other can of worms. Now you’re obligated to treating people as members of a group in a primary sense before the law and society. And that can be a problem, no matter who does it. Clearly it’s a matter that requires some thought and discussion.

For example, you might have a higher order set of interacting beliefs, that there are in fact differences between races as there are between families, but that the most important differences are between individuals, and so legal systems should be attuned around that locus, not around lower order and more variable and less stable differences (either positively or negatively). That’s a complex position, and not one you could express or explore by mandating a basic set of simplistic answers at a universal regulatory level. Figuring out what it means and how to apply it would require a certain amount of freedom of thought and practice. It would require engagement and risk.

Sex is another question. Should the government be able to mandate that the only acceptable position is that men and women are exactly the same? Not merely equal before the law (which they aren’t, as family courts prove) but actually the same, with all that that implies for differential outcomes. Or with regard to gender, should rhe government be able to decide once and for all that it is purely a matter of social construction and personal choice and is as variable and malleable as your own feelings on the subject? And should the government have or be given the power to remove and correct all the potential consequences of violation of this belief system, demanding that the responses and outcomes and values of all must track this conception through to its complete execution? How much power over individual citizens would it need to have to be able to do that?

Does the government have the right, or even the power, to enforce these answers to these sorts of questions that are so fundamental to our individual rights and roles in society? Does it have the right or power to decide that everyone will have completely similar outcomes regardless of their beliefs, whether they adhere to a stable biological and not purely contructionist and individualistic conception of gender or whether they adhere to a purely social constructivist vision of gender? Can government mandate equal outcomes for people who take racially divergent outcomes based in their beliefs about rheee most basic elements of human identity and development?

Is equality an outcome and an ideology and system of discrimination you have a right to mandate and enforce? Should you (or society in some sense) be able to be accused of (illegitimate) discrimination and blamed if someone who is gender fluid has difficulty in the dating game, and some part of it is because some people can’t deal with the complexity and want something simpler and more consistent? Is it right to say that people are wrong and morally unacceptable in society for making those judgements and having those values? Or that someone else is wrong to accrue them? Does no one on either side have a right to their own diverse outcomes? Have we decided them all in advance by regulatory fiat?

What about sexual behaviors? Is the government in the position to tell people what they’re not allowed to value, as if there were no differences in how people behave along this very important axis of life? Can the government tell you you’re not allowed to value healthy or beautiful mates, or successful mates, or mates who could give you children, or who reaffirm your own status? Is it right for the government to regulate people’s thoughts, instincts, and feelings about it because it’s so trivial or because it’s so deadly serious?

That question especially seems very unclear lately, even when you’re listening to just a single perspective. Should sex be deregulated and non-moral, or highly regulated and super-moral? Should people be allowed to do whatever they want because sex is just an innate, uncontrollable urge that exists purely for personal pleasure that we should be universally positive and accepting about, or is it a massive locus of problems and exploitation where the slightest misstep is an infringement on the deepest and most important aspect of my identity and personal sovereignty and which requires enormous education and the acceptance of responsibility? Surely it can’t be both.

There certainly seems to be a big difference in people’s values in this arena. There’s a lot to talk about. There are some genuine disagreements about what the purpose of sex is, what flourishing in this area means, how it can be best achieved, all kinds of things, right down to the most basic questions. They’re pretty serious disagreements. And people have some very strong feelings about them. The question is, how involved should the government be in mandating the answers to these questions and arbitrating and adjusting the outcomes? How much is it the government’s job to tell us, under penalty of law, what we are and aren’t allowed to have good or bad feelings about and positive and negative reactions to? How much is it the government’s job to tell us what to value and how to live? How much of our underlying theory of value and belief about what sex is and what it is for and how we should integrate it into our lives is the government supposed to dictate to us?

The answer, based on actual experience of what humans do in fact do, clearly isn’t none. And it probably also shouldn’t be all of it, since that hasn’t always gone well, or even a lot of it. So instead we need to protect our speech and talk about things. We need to protect the ability of discussion and society and individual choice and consequences to operate organically, outside the power of law. We can’t avoid dealing with these issues, they’re too important. But we also can’t trust the government to just settle it all and do all the work for us, again because it’s too important.

In particular, choosing to close discussion and forbid certain theories from any presence in public or academic spaces means (especially if you extend your efforts to restricting speech) forbidding a wide range of literature and philosophy and religion. If it is offensive and discriminatory to perpetuate any value theory that seriously contradicts and violates, for example, the current popular theory on gender, that it is not tied to biological sex, that is it malleable and constructed, that it depends on personal intuition for assignment and validation, then you would have to forbid the content of the majority of all religions and ideologies in the world, as well as the literature and philosophy of nearly the entirety of humanity, as fundamentally discriminatory. Because that has been the prevailing view of most cultures across most of history. You narrow down the acceptable intellectual input to a single moment. That doesn’t mean the theory isn’t right, but it does mean you’ve forbidden the mechanisms we possess as humans for figuring out whether something is right and for adding to and updating it. You may have succeeded in securing what you regard as a just outcome, but you’ve done it at the cost of subverting the mechanism by which you select and test outcomes.

And it simply seems to me that that’s a silly thing to do. Especially about really important matters. And that’s why our laws err in the side of protecting freedoms. They’re not trying to secure outcomes for us, that would be better served by interventionism and paternalism and authoritarianism. They’re attempting to secure opportunities for us to assume responsibility. Responsibility for the results of our beliefs and actions, good and bad, and the chance for everyone to see them. That is what American law really believes in, the power of responsibility.

When we close down the discussion, when there is nothing more to be learned, when no further growth or possible contradiction is possible nor desirable, and to contradict is the essence of immorality and antisocial behavior, when it is a danger to the very fabric of society, that is when we bring government to bear on an issue. It’s not a small matter.

Virtually all cultures have come to the conclusion that “thou shalt not steal”. That’s close to a human universal moral truth. “Your gender is whatever you feel that it is” does not make the grade as a human universal. So going to the tactical extreme of assigning legal penalties to speech that affirms a different viewpoint, and forbidding value systems that contradict it, is problematic. It’s hubristic and narrow minded and anachronistic.

It’s harder to make rules that everyone would be happy with than you would think. And insofar as a society is a kind of game, you need a playable game that most people can agree to and be included in and be reasonably happy with (or at least minimally unhappy). And there’s no way to guarantee that everybody wins and nobody loses, nor is that even a reasonable or desirable goal. In a world of choice and freedom and real agency, some things should win and some should lose.

The solution of America, in bringing in a lot of different players, was to try to keep the rules limited, mostly focused on maintaining boundaries and minimizing external interference, and maximizing freedom. That way the workable theories could flourish and survive and the unworkable theories could fail and perish, and the ecosystem could operate effectively to favor whatever worked and remove what didn’t. That’s how a flourishing ecosystem works.

The main contribution of America to philosophy was pragmatism, the theory of doing whatever works. If we worshipped anything in early America, it was competence. And we didn’t care that much who you were (especially compared to other cultures), only if you could get it done. If you could, then America was the place to do it. And so all kinds of people flocked to America to try out their theories and see if they could make it work.

The real wealth of America wasn’t in treasures or infrastructure, in those days. The Old World had far greater troves of wealth and architecture and craft and political and social systems than the new world. The wealth of America was in opportunity. And compared to virtually anywhere else, America had more of it than anywhere. In large part because of the structure and values of our system.

The shared religion of America was opportunity, responsibility, and consequences. We were a risk-taking, optimistic, creative, and courageous people. You had to be courageous, because you were assuming a risk. Safety was not guaranteed. Success could only be proved, nor mandated. But those times are past, and we have grown soft on our successes and started taking them for granted as a right. Time alone will tell what that will cost us.

Politeness

Politeness is the fundamental making-room-ness for the existence, the thoughts, feelings, actions, and idiosyncrasies, of others. Can you give up too much territory? Yes. Sometimes you need to defend your space and resist the encroachment of others. But politeness is what prevents everything from becoming a fight. It’s a ritual that allows space within proximity, dignity and sovereignty granted to others in a shared space.

Alternatively, you could just be alone, then your sovereignty over your territory would be absolute. Or you could dominate everyone around you. But both are difficult and costly. Humans are social animals. Social animals have rituals and systems that allow individuals to inhabit cooperative and competitive shared spaces. And that’s a pretty impressive trick.

So politeness has immense power and value, especially the larger and more complex and close you want to build your society. But it has its limits. If you give up too much territory and sovereignty to others and retain an insufficient amount yourself, you’ll get crushed and resentful.

Peterson vs Weinstein

What language best represents human experience? Scientific and materialistic language, the language of quantity? Or is it narrative and personification that beat capture our reality?

https://youtu.be/O55mvoZbz4Y

The later part of this episode is one of the greatest summaries of the culture War problem and how to conceptualize it I’ve ever heard. It’s solid gold and could give birth to tons of discussion. Starts about an hour fifteen in.

As for the first half of the discussion, which was about evolution and religion and/or morality, it was less clear, because the answers to those questions don’t lie before our eyes. It’s an attempt to peek behind the veil of our fundamental being. Who or what is really in control, or what is the true origin, or what is the best level at which to approach understanding of ethical and religious phenomena?

I have to side with Jordan on this one, or at least side against Bret because he’s saying absurd things. Bret is ascribing the phenomenological qualities of individuals, and particularly minds, to genes and genetic mechanisms. He’s anthropomorphizing and deifying genes, talking about genes wanting this or desiring that. Genes choosing and deciding and planning and making determinations and pursuing plans and purposes. What does he think genes are? Genes are a structure of molecules, a string of sugars and phosphates. What do sugars and phosphates want?
Genes are a mechanism. But what they really are, in relation to life (and particularly humans) is a much stranger question, which is why even materialists like Bret end up making silly statements, talking about them like they’re people or gods. Because although their matter consists in sugars and phosphates, their essence consists in information and purpose. Neither of which are strictly material, though they can be materially represented.

So when Jordan suggests that maybe it’s those things we experience as the only things that have those phenomenological qualities (mind, consciousness, purpose, some concept of soul perhaps?) that shape and direct the mechanisms, rather than the other way round (because it is not clear in what sense they contain it, as it is absurd to talk of genes wanting some end), he’s not suggesting anything so absurd as it might appear at first blush. And it’s the absurdity of ascribing phenomenological, creaturely, teleological, mental, and emotional qualities to materialistic structures that reveals that some step has been misplaced.

I don’t think this in any way solves the problem, or that it means that Jordan is exactly right with whatever theory he is proposing, only that it’s not so absurd as it might seem, and Bret’s proposal is more absurd than it seems. And on balance Jordan is the wiser because he is more open, because he’s more clear about the fact that he’s confronting something he doesn’t fully understand and hasn’t grasped yet, and there’s a kind of wisdom in that. Bret is a little too sure of what he thinks he knows, and it blinds him to his own absurdities. And if you argue back that, well, those statements he made weren’t meant to be literally true, they’re a metaphor of a larger non-material reality, then you’re right back in the realm of religious representation, in fact you’ve gone right round the house without realizing that you’ve never left it.

A comment in Do Progressives Care About Jews?

https://youtu.be/F_tk9z3OpcQ

Can we coin the term Jewish Fragility?
It sounds like his main complaint is simply that identity politics is inconsistent. And his second complaint is that one of the areas it isinconsistent is regarding Jews, his own personal domain where he’s invested. If it’s going to exist, then, it should at least include Jews, right? Because don’t they deserve victim status too?

That seems to be the core of his complaint. And it’s a problem. I don’t think you can do it without watering down the admission tests so much that you end up letting all kinds of undesirables into the victim class. But if you don’t include Jews, then you have to admit that you’re ignoring some really important stuff that matters and not being inconsistent. So what then?
I suppose you could take this problem he posits in several different directions. Can identity politics be made consistent, and is there any scenario where Jews don’t inevitably get left out on the cold? I would guess that the answer to both of those is no, for very strong reasons. And does identity politics even need to be consistent? It’s about particularity, after all, not universality.
Identity politics isn’t an ideology based on some universalizable ethical system or epistemic process. It doesn’t even believe in those things. It’s a system centered around and aimed at restructuring power dynamics. So, no, I don’t think it needs to be consistent. And for all that Jews can claim victimhood, they’re also one of the primary influences on Western civilization, universally resented for their tenacity and success and ability to thrive across a multitude of situations, often more than the local population. They’re smarter, wealthier, well spoken, witty, orderly, tenacious, and have a deep cultural tradition. And as a result they tend to succeed and earn the ire of those around them. In a sea of foes, somehow they rise. They’ve been doing it for thousands of years. That’s a kind of privilege, or it will appear in its result as a kind of privilege, since privilege is mostly judged a posteriori, by the positive results, and prejudice, privilege, theft, and manipulation are inferred backward to the people who accrued those results.

The Jews are unusually successful, therefore they must have stolen that result. Because all cultures and truths are equal, and therefore equivalent, therefore all differences result from manipulations of power and structures of oppression, but Jews consistently have unusually positive results, outperforming other groups, therefore Jews must be consistently cheating and stealing and manipulating their way to those results. Therefore they deserve to have them taken from them (and redistributed). That’s the argument, I think.
There is an entirely different worldview that exists that isn’t centered around identity politics but still includes ideas such a injustice, corruption, unfairness, abuse, dishonesty, and theft. But it doesn’t define the world according to systems of privilege or power structures, nor does it subscribe to the doctrine of cultural equivalence. But that system isn’t under discussion here.
I think this fellow hasn’t quite come to terms yet with the problem inherent in identity politics. He seems to see the inconsistency, and maybe he hopes things can be saved, at least as far as Jews go. He would like Jews to be inside the camp of identity privilege (meaning the camp of being victims and objects of power adjustment in their favor). He makes a good case for Jewish victimhood, without quite realizing that there are just as many reasons to count them among oppressors, and maybe they’ve only been victims because they’ve also been oppressors and this is just their Jewish fragility.

Besides, if we start looking past those privileges and those hallmarks of white supremacy that Jews especially personify, then who else might we be prevailed on to pass over and grant clemency to? Might the whole concept of white privilege collapse into some other system of terms and categories, less useful for identifying the wicked and the virtuous? Might we end up having to view people as individuals rather than as representatives of class identity, class privilege, class guilt, and class value?

No, I don’t think the Jews can be saved without sinking the whole system. Should that make you question the system? I think that’s something Jews are going to have to start thinking about. Because any system based around class or racial guilt and identity is likely to find in the Jews a perennial favorite target.

In reply to a comment.

Yes. And the huge risk with doing it that way is that you might be misidentify competence as priviledge, and worse yet, punish it. And if it is competence, or if even just a decent part of it is, you’ll hurt everyone by discouraging it. And if you try to redistribute it you’ll just get frustrated at why it isn’t working or sustaining itself. Because you can’t actually redistribute a creative process, only its results. And since the limit on life’s conditions is production, not distribution, the attempts to correct the perceived flaws in the system won’t work and will keep producing similar results in the king run, or possibly even worse ones. Which will just make you even more upset and confused and make you decide that the entire system must be broken and based on bias and privilege and needs to be burned down.

On John McWhorter

https://youtu.be/-D9LZdjnxKk

I love John. I adore him and I think he’s a genius. He’s one of my favorite people to listen to. He’s so articulate and kind. And he has a good sense of when something has gone wrong, and seeks to correct it. He has a clear idea of what black America shouldn’t do and what won’t really help them. I think his only major deficit is that he lacks a strong positive vision of what could actually make things better or change things. I don’t think that’s his strength, and that’s fine. He’s a linguist with a strong interest in racial relations. He’s not a politician or sociologist or a saint, and neither am I.
Thomas Sowell or Glen Lowry have much stronger articulated visions of what would truly help black America, in part because they’re economists. And I think also because they’re really been through some really serious $#!*. John is such a decent, smart guy. He reminds me of my wife, who on talking to people with truly messy lives just doesn’t know what to say to them and can’t understand them. It’s so far from who she is.

So, to John, the removal of a few conditions that he perceives as the problem, a few small adjustments to the structure, are all you need and the whole ship will just right itself. But to those of us who are less good, less decent, less controlled, less brilliant, less productive, and less kind than he is, that seems hopelessly naive. Because we know ourselves too well.
I don’t disagree that some of his proposals have plausible merit, but you could switch everyone to phonics, provide better birth control, and end the war on drugs tomorrow, and very little would have changed in most people’s lives. Not nothing. Some big obvious things, but things that are more at the level of conveying consequences than producing them. And life isn’t ultimately a problem of distribution or conveyance, but of production.
Two out of the three of his solutions really just boil down to using technology to remove the most obvious (not only, just the most obvious) consequences of risky behaviors. That’s like solving psoriasis by providing hats. Yes, it would address a lot of the most obvious and visible consequences, and that’s not nothing. But it’s not a real treatment. It doesn’t make healthy tissue grow.
A good stay in prison or some serious time in a small town with people who have never bought into the personal cultural roadmap of the postgraduate elite could provide a person with some real insight into this kind of thing. A little personal chaos helps a person learn how deep some problems can go, and what it really takes to actually escape them and build something new, if you’re not by nature a reasonable and dedicated and controlled person, which many of us aren’t. It reveals how big the dragon and the deficit really is, and how big a thing you need to truly address those problems and fill those holes and meet those needs.
This is an area where I see Glen Lowry literally weeping as he talks, because he sees how terrible the beast truly is, and how insufficient our shallow signatory attempts to address it truly are. As if dignity and significance can be bought at so cheap a price. As if the government could just grant them by fiat. As if stability and productivity and erudition were such common goods for the taking.
My advice is to spend some time reading The Boy Crisis, then spend some time with people who are truly feeling the cost of fatherlessness. Don’t try to fix them or offer them anything to compensate them as a dispensation, just spend some time seeing how deep that hole goes. Or, if you want to be more positive, total up everything a stable family and a present father can mean for a child, everything it can provide, and then ask yourself what you or the government can possibly provide to make up for taking that away from so many children. This being just a single, common problem many people face. These are not such cheap goods that you can fabricate a substitute for them in an afternoon, or even a hundred years, or a thousand.
I also have to mention that the ivory tower attitude to drugs is getting absurd, these dainty dabblers in pharmaceutical pleasures. Addiction to drugs is a dragon that can eat up your whole life, all your love and regard for other people around you, all your ambition and all your money. Stopping taking them can be the worst pain you’ve ever felt in your life, and taking them can be an easy pleasure better than anything real in your daily life. It can replace your life, especially if it comes easier than the hard won treasures of successful being, swallow up everything you have to give and give you nothing back but dependence. That’s not a toothless dragon. The addiction becomes a personality within you that can eat up everything else about you.
Are you really going to go up to a fatherless young man, struggling to control his anger and lack of self worth, who’s fallen into the easy pit of addiction that’s absorbing all that’s best about him and say “Good news, you won’t get arrested for possession any more, and here are some IUDs and a copy of Hooked on Phonics!” Do you really think that will pull his world back together? That it will cause him to become creatively productive in a year, or fifteen years? That that small adjustment will on its own cause the racial crisis to just evaporate within a short space of time, and we’ll wonder what it was all about, that all that could have been so easily solved?
It even doesn’t matter if you’re black or not. I grew up in a small town where this story, this trap, was the story for plenty of folks, most of them white. Poor, uneducated, addicted, with unstable and broken families. The white lower classes are in a terrible state right now. There are certain things that are so universally damaging to a life that no one, of any race, can absorb them and not suffer a loss. They know no racial boundaries, whether they cluster and convey by race or not. And where they have been solved and put right they convey power and fortitude, also regardless of race. Some things are such universal goods, such rich sources of human capital, that they cannot help but lift you up no matter who you are.
And it’s not at all clear that using technological means to paper over some of the most visible (but not the only) consequences of a problem will actually help the problem. It might make it worse, for the sake of removing this one result. Did removing the barriers to widely available nutrition result in everyone becoming super healthy? Or did we lose the ability to regulate our own appetites and just make ourselves unhealthy in a whole new way? We altered the conditions, but not ourselves, expecting that to solve our problems.
Why economists might grasp this problem more clearly than other academics is an nteresting question. I think it’s because they concern themselves not merely with the obvious results, with distribution, but also with creative production. They see that there’s an underlying problem that’s even bigger than conveyance and distribution, and that the operation of that process can’t be taken for granted. And also that it’s much harder to manipulate. You can protect it and encourage it, but you can’t create it or call it into being by declaration, the way you can adjust distribution and conveyance by declaration. It’s not an outcome, it’s a capacity. It’s a mode of being. And I think John, perhaps, takes it for granted just a little too much, because he has so much of it.
We’re not all John McWhorter. And we need something that addresses our being, with all its needs and problems and possibilities. A parent is something that actually does that. A grand narrative, a heroic conception of your life story, like a religion, can do that. A purpose, a meaning, a great investment in a project for which we have responsibility can do that.

Black America, and really America in general, isn’t looking for a band aid, some better IUDs or more relaxed drug possession laws. It’s looking for a reason to be. For significance, for an idea of themselves that gives their lives purpose and hope and meaning. They want to be known, to matter to someone. They want to be needed, and to create something worth making and carry burdens and keep promises worth maintaining. They want someone to look up at them and love them and respect them, and have someone look down on them and comfort them and advise them. They want to know how to respect themselves and love their lives enough to be worth investing in. This is what all people want.

And you can’t get it from the government. You can’t extract it from white people, or grant it if you are a white person. You can’t get it by adjusting some laws or handing out some benefits, social or material. Making someone else be afraid of crossing you or upsetting you won’t make you feel like you matter, not deep down. Being seen by a crowd won’t give your life and relationships depth and meaning that lasts and endures beyond a moment. Making someone afraid of how they speak to you, shaming them, won’t make them love or respect or understand you.

Life doesn’t provide such easy fixes for the deep problems. Or rather, it doesn’t provides means other than those that have always been provided for everyone everywhere, for all time, but carry a high cost of daily maintenance. Family, community, parents, children, a stable romantic partnership, work, responsibility, a home, friendship, thankfulness, humility, wisdom, temperance, patience, honesty, dedication, kindness. These are the universal goods that can drive a life into creative production even in the worst of circumstances, for the most hated and disadvantaged of people. And losing focus on them, forgetting their value, being distracted by other shiner baubles, can lead even the most advantaged to ruin.

Who is John McWhorter without these things, without his patience and kindness and care and dedication and relentless productivity, his need to set right whatever is crooked? Not the man we know and respect. But where do these things come from? From birth control or phonics books? I have the utmost respect for these things. They are incredibly useful tools. But tools are only as useful as the hand that holds them is strong. As valuable as they might be, even these can be a detriment if you become convinced that by addressing the tools you have addressed the health of their wielder. It just isn’t that’s simple.

And I think John knows that, at least in the way he points out the inadequacies he perceives in critical race theory. It is an inadequate, not empty, way of addressing the realities it seeks to address. It doesn’t have hold of nothing, but it only has a part and imagines it to be the whole thing, and structures all interaction around that reduction. And that may go even worse than not addressing it at all. A poorly applied cure can do more harm than many sicknesses. That’s why a sufficient understanding of the real depth of the malady, as well as of the real nature and sources of health, is so important.

Roommates vs Spouses

What is the difference between having a husband or wife and having a roommate? The two overlap, and it’s easy for one to slowly become another, especially as the passions of youth cool and life becomes more stable and predictable, as our daily lives become more about the regular effort required to maintain life than to generate it. How do you prevent your lover from becoming merely your roommate?

I once heard a middle aged comedian discuss this very question. And his answer, which had a certain humorously raw quality, was that you got to f#@$. All jokes aside, that is what makes the difference on the most basic level, what distinguishes the romantic relationship from mere friendship or cohabitation. When you have a roommate, you both inhabit the same space. When you have a spouse, you inhabit each other.

Sex isn’t the limit of this kind of inhabitation, but it is symbolic, emblematic, and endemic. It’s a ritual of maintenance, it’s a fulfillment, it’s a reminder, it’s a means. It has significance across multiple domains of your life together, fulfills your past, and creates and reinforces your future. And children, as the exclusive result of sex, are themselves significant across multiple domains, symbols as well as literal representations of your attempt to inhabit one another, to inhabit a shared identity, and create both the future power and possibilities of that union as well as bringing together your literal genetic and personal and historical pasts to a single meeting, resulting in a present responsibility for that new creation.

In other words, sex has significance. That’s why it makes such a big difference between having a roommate and having a husband or wife. So if you want to keep having a spouse, and not a roommate, I have to agree with that comedian. You do have to f@#$. But is it really that simple? Well, no, and yes.

Sex has significance across all these many domains of meaning. But you can have it without engaging on all those levels. You can engage in sex as a shared meta-phenomenon (the joining of two into one shared identity, a romantic economy) without actually activating or going through all those channels. And this is both a strength and a weakness. It’s good because it means you can participate in the romantic economy of sex, some part of what sex means, even absent actual physical contact. You can participate in other parts of the overall process and exchange and living dynamic. And often you will need to, if you want the physical part to work out as well.

Men tend to focus on the climactic physical fulfillment as the key moment of significance and reaffirmation of the bond, whereas women may focus more on the rituals that lead up to it. The bits of kindness and foreplay, the preparation of the romantic enclave and giving of gifts of attention and insight that show this person has something worth receiving. And if a relationship bears fruit, such as children, providing for them, providing care, caring for and providing for the shared home; all of these are meaningful acts within the romantic economy and are useful for maintaining it. They’re aspects of the fully extended dimensions of the sexual union across a complete, united human life.

Still, it’s also easy to get bogged down in all these other ways of supporting the romantic economy and not remember to actually do the deed. Or maybe you might attempt to do the deed but forget or skip all these other things. Because the system exists across so many levels, it’s easy to cheat, to try to interact only on the level that matters most to you. To get in and get out, so to speak, instead of remaining and paying the price of engagement across multiple levels. Why do you think it’s called an engagement? Because you’re buying into, engaging with, the whole relationship in all its dimensions.

Now, this is a problem for everyone. Because the thing, the total sexual relationship, is so big and complex, it’s easy to focus on one part we’re good at or care about most and ignore the other parts. Men’s focus on the highly tangible aspects of nakedness, intimate touch, and orgasmic release is, to them, a focus on the things that truly embody and fulfill the concept of the romantic economy for them. They encapsulate special aspects of its nature that hold great power for them, and that do accurately represent what is special about the romantic relationship. You can’t take that away from them and not deprive them of the primary way they access and reaffirm the significance of the romantic relationship across the dimensions of their lives.

If you do take it away, you can expect the other dimensions of the relationship to suffer, because that window into it, that point of access to the full meaning, is so important for men. This is the easiest way to get a man to inhabit you and your shared identity, to get him excited about it and reinvested in it. To keep him as a husband rather than just a roommate. It’s really just one entry into a very large mansion that the romantic relationship creates, but as far as he’s concerned it’s the grand entrance and the front door. And if it’s shut too often he won’t feel welcome inside that shared space of identity.

As I’m not a woman, I don’t feel that I can speak authoritatively about them, not having been inside their heads. But if I had to describe what matters for women, based on my own experience, the answer would be: everything else. Yes, sex to some degree. But often sex as a function of everything else. Men in general, even neurologically, are more singular and tend to specialize into narrow bands of development and focus, whereas women are more distributed. I’ve written elsewhere about applying accelerants vs removing brakes.

I think it’s fair to say that it’s just more obvious to women that all the other stuff is also part of what sex is, what the romantic economy is, what the shared relationship is. It’s less easy for them to chop sex out singularly from all its levels of prismatic meaning and maintenance. And they have a greater connection to symbols of romance that are just as tangible for them, but might mean less to a typical man. The rituals of mating: the dance, the affection, the presentation, the display, all those behaviors we see arrayed so richly in nature. Those are just as tangible a part of sex, for them, as the physical revelation, the removing of the barriers between, that nudity and penetration present.

It’s fairly easy to remind a man what is so wonderful about their partner and why they desire access to them; just show them their partner with their clothes off and that will generally do it. It’s clear to them, it’s obvious and tangible and actionable. But men generally need to reveal more than their mere physical nakedness to arouse their wives (and let’s be honest, most of us aren’t amazing in that regard). How many men have attempted revealing themselves physically, only to be greeted with indifference, amusement, exasperation, or even disgust? Quite a lot. It hasn’t stopped them from trying, however.

Women do, I think, want men to reveal themselves to become aroused. They just have a different and more complex idea of what that means. It needs to be done across multiple levels of meaning, so that the value is revealed to them in ways that make it tangible and desirable for them. The somewhat dubious physical attraction of men can be “good enough” as my mother once put it, because it becomes inhabited by the meaning and attraction men possess at these other levels. And this explains a lot of the differences and misunderstandings between male and female sexual behavior.

One problem that couples can really struggle with is not keeping up their end of the reciprocal economy. The romantic economy is a miraculous thing, because it generates an excess. It produces more in result than what you put into it. Quite literally. You can put two people into it and get four back, or seven, or eventually dozens or hundreds or thousands, as it works itself out down the generations. It’s one of the few truly creative systems that we have access too. It is actively anti-entropic. But it only works as long as the exchange is kept up, the cycle of giving and receiving and recombining, of risk and sacrifice and welcome and protection. It isn’t a one and done thing. It’s a living, growing entity, this shared identity. It puts out roots and brings things under its shade and bears fruit that spread the organism further. But if it doesn’t keep up the process of respiration, the romantic exchange, the sexual krebs cycle, it fails to unleash the energy contained within its elements. It weakens, goes dormant, maybe even dies.

If a man attempts to extract the energy for the sustenance of his part of the organism by focusing only on the physical aspect that is tangible and desirable to him, and doesn’t contribute the materials necessary to maintain and make tangible the experience of the woman, he will starve that half of the cycle, and likely also his own half. Why? Because you can’t starve half of a symbiotic organism without harming both halves. You can’t deplete the resources available for one half of a chemical reaction and expect the other reagent to receive enough back to unleash its transformation. By the same token, if a man is investing in the romantic economy, but his partner keeps holding back her contribution to his ability to unleash and access that living energy, if his point of tangible access to it is blocked, he will starve, and likely will have less to contribute on his side, gradually empoverishing both halves of the equation.

This can lead to the most dreaded result, the reverse process cycle, the process of unlife, the consumptive metabolism. Where lack of available nutrients leads the organism to start burning its own parts for fuel. In common parlance it’s what we call a race to the bottom, a negative feedback loop. Each partner gives less and less, generating a loss instead of an excess that the shared romantic identity gradually absorbs, burning up its own strength and integrity, until it gets so sick it starts to die.

Now, maybe this system seems unjust and demanding. You’re being asked to do and care about things you don’t want and don’t care about so someone else can get what they want, in the uncertain hope that as a result you’ll get back what you need. That’s a pretty wild and uncertain arrangement, and a terribly demanding one, too. It’s a tangle of byzantine complexity out of which it isn’t at all clear that we will get what we want or be in any way able to navigate it and work things out to our satisfaction. It provides no guarantees, makes many demands, and carries enormous risk.

To all that, to all these perfectly true and reasonable objections, all I can say is, that’s love for you. You can resent the romantic economy and how it works, you can resent your partner’s inadequacies and failures, and just flat out differences. But all you’ll really get out of doing that is that you’ll lose the romantic economy and the shared identity and what it can produce. And that’s a pretty big loss. If you’re not willing to give it what it requires to be sustained, then it simply won’t be sustained. It’s a certain kind of thing and has certain things it requires to function. And when it is functioning it can do some amazing things. But if you can’t come to terms with it and see the value in it and love it and embrace it, all you’ll really get instead is its absence.

And for some people maybe that’s preferable. It’s certainly not easy putting up with the needs of someone whose demands and contributions don’t match your own but exist in a complex interplay with them. We would prefer to possess the whole means of generation and production within ourselves. To be self-sufficient, to have it all without having to rely on another or have them rely on us. But this is the curse of the system and the price it extracts. To admit something alien, to become something more than what we are. Some unity, some recombination of the elemental aspects of humanity. And somehow that recombination produces life, in every sense of the word, across all the prismatic dimensions of being. And frankly, that’s a f@#$ing miracle.

Jordan Peterson and faith

https://youtu.be/2rAqVmZwqZM

I think Joni Erickson Tada might be an interesting person for Jordan to learn about. I’m a bit of a natural skeptic myself. I always have been. And Jordan certainly has faith, the sort of faith that Kierkegaard espoused. It’s a choice to will a life “as if,” while recognizing that there is no “must” to carry you across. I struggle with that constantly. But you can test your faith, even in the extremes of suffering. You can ask for grace. You can’t prove that you got it from God. But you can throw yourself onto him and see if anything catches you. Maybe nothing will.

I’m a firm believer in cause and effect. But even I can’t deny that there have been some cases in my life where I saw myself in a hopeless situation. And I never came up with a plan of how to develop what I needed in myself to be able to come out of that hole. And I don’t mean the problem just going away, I mean my ability to be able to handle the problem. And some sort of me didn’t even want to. But I had one small corner of me that wished to be free and wished to be otherwise. And sometimes I have suddenly found that I had it. Maybe that’s merely coincidence. I also find Christians to be an insufficient witness to the supposed power of God to change people. But sometimes you need to watch someone die and see how they face it. And sometimes you need to see how terrible a person they could have been or were or are underneath and how much that journey, if not the present person themselves, has altered. I don’t know.

I don’t think, even if the gospel is true, that it’s meant to be inherently compulsory from a purely factual or rational standpoint, any more than anything about ultimate reality is. In some sense all of life is a risk, a chance you take on a practical, not only theoretical, basis. You choose to live as if a certain story were true. And we want to know what story really is true. Especially if we’re going to commit our hopes and fears to it. And the gospel lies at such a fundamental level of explanation that its hard to comprehend what it would mean for us.

The same could be said of many religious beliefs and secular religious beliefs across time and culture. There’s a sense in which none of us take any of our beliefs as seriously as one might expect us to, whether that’s reincarnation or materialism. We struggle to live fully in any narrative, maybe because to do so would exhaust us, maybe because the narrative lacks depth or coherence, maybe because we live as humans across more than one narrative and level of being.

In all truth, I completely sympathize with Jordan’s struggle over the historical question of Christ. Why must I believe that? Why is the mythological level not sufficient or not the most plausible? Why is it not enough? And there are arguments about that. I think the answer that the struggle of the lives of men is mythological, but not merely mythological, and the problem of life and connection to the great ultimate reality is not just a theoretical or abstract or archetypal problem, it’s an actual personal and historical problem. So it had to have an actual incarnated moment of being addressed. It had to be acted out, to become actual, because we are actual. It had to come to action, as our beliefs in our lives come down to action in time and space.

But I don’t think you can compel belief in that why. I don’t think you can lock it up and put it in your pocket and create a machine of compelling thought that will carry you across that gulf. To take that step is like stepping into death. Into an infinite unknown with no guarantee. That’s why baptism is its symbol. And we look at others and find them insufficiently regenerated to convince us that they have drowned and been brought back to life.

That’s hard to get past. It makes it impossible to take the leap. And there are some people who like to withhold themselves so they can always have a clear vision of everything. If you give yourself up you may lose that objectivity. You will have laid your bets and joined the table. You can no longer merely advise on the game, because you’ve staked yourself in it. I feel that reluctance too.
I also struggle mightily with going to church. Partly because I don’t like joining things, I like being outside them so I can analyze them, partly because I don’t like taking on obligations to people who may disappoint me and confound me, partly because of my own past disappointments and exhaustion and unwillingness to commune and sacrifice and wrestle with such a broad and unselected group of people. Partly because I’m lazy, fearful, resentful, superior, jealous, and selfish. Churches, as the manifestation of the work of God, can be very disappointing, because they’re full of people. And I can be very reluctant to participate, because I’m people too.

So what should I do? Give up on the idea of the community of humanity united by a shared recognition of their sorry state and a desire to be regenerated and seek the truth and live it out? That seems like a pretty damn cynical thing to do. But I am that cynical. I feel sick just thinking of being in a church these days. Is that partly because I lack the courage and faith to believe in people and love them the way that I’m told God believes in them and loves them? I think Jordan worries, in his question, whether he is lacking courage.

To which I can only say that I lack it too. And that I can’t see much recourse from going over the arguments, or distracting myself with all the little facts and references and thoughts I have. At some point it comes down to action. Acts of faith, disciplines of faith. But they’re terribly difficult to take. Maybe courage like that can only come from desperation, ignorance, or the gift of God. And maybe someone who flies so high and powerfully needs a lot of be brought that low, and cannot be made that ignorant, or finds it hard to ask for the gift of God.

One thing I will say that you miss by avoiding church is the opportunity to actually see the work of God, see better examples, little glimpses, in the lives of others. You will surely see a lot that is terrible and banal and disappointing. But I’ve seen men and women face death with courage, seen people live lives of service, I’ve seen a weeping father still lift his hands in worship after his son had been killed, I’ve seen goodness that really cost people something, and I’ve seen forgiveness granted and accepted that seemed impossible. Maybe you can find that anywhere. Maybe those are all the work of the same God in all lives. I don’t know. But I recognize that by depriving myself of facing the difficulty and disappointments of the congregation of believers, I also miss out on all the grace I could gain from them. Maybe I think I don’t need it. Maybe I doubt it.

Also, I think the answer to problem of how you pursue utopia while avoiding rhe pitfalls of limiting it too much (an insufficient heaven), or of making a false idol or false heaven that becomes a hell (a tower of babel) is to locate its boundaries outside your own life. Maybe the afterlife is a way of conceptualizing that. Maybe it’s the literal answer. But I think the solution offered by Christianity for avoiding (or minimizing) these problems related to pursuing Heaven is to locate it in a place beyond the boundaries of your own temporal and individual life.

And of course the other great strategy is to maintain focus on Christ and honoring and representing him. So both your ideal and your results are located outside your own temporal and identity limits. Of course neither of these are foolproof strategies. You can’t make a foolproof system without removing freedom or complexity, without removing humanity itself. But they are ideological safeguards placed on the project.