love

A critique of “The Thrill of it All”

I recently watched an old Doris Day movie about a doctor whose wife becomes a TV advertising star. And I couldn’t help feeling that the whole problem was that the characters never had an open discussion and never asked the right questions. And that’s fine, if people did that at the beginning of the storyContinue reading “A critique of “The Thrill of it All””

Surviving the past and present through sex

One not well-understood way that men and women differ from one another is in their strategies for filling and defining roles. It is often noted that women occupy the great stable middle of social and personal distributions, while men occupy a larger portion of the extremes, both at the top and at the bottom. SoContinue reading “Surviving the past and present through sex”

What women want

What women want, or at least what my wife wants, is to feel special and valuable and precious. To be a princess. For her, it’s a guilty pleasure, but it’s also obviously a deep motivation. To be seen or discovered to be or appreciated as or treated as if or to simply be a princess.Continue reading “What women want”

Roommates vs Spouses

What is the difference between having a husband or wife and having a roommate? The two overlap, and it’s easy for one to slowly become another, especially as the passions of youth cool and life becomes more stable and predictable, as our daily lives become more about the regular effort required to maintain life thanContinue reading “Roommates vs Spouses”

Birth of the goddess

Spicy meatball warning. Offensive, personal, not at all polite or correct. Prepare for some shocking imagery. I believe it to be necessary to really adrress this subject honestly and unblinkingly. The unvarnished reality of it. I know that in some ways I’m violating my own points I made in my entry about Cuties. There areContinue reading “Birth of the goddess”

Gender and cooperation

Although tyranny was often an outcome, as it is of any structured political or economic system, specialization into certain roles was also, in the main, a byproduct of local historical conditions and assumptions (both of which had a grounding in empirical personal and cultural experience, experimentation, consequences, and adaptation). Local systems didn’t just arise fromContinue reading “Gender and cooperation”

Modern expressions of innate sexual instincts

What percent of current political conditions results from the scaled up and transposed familiar instincts in men and women? Those instincts, at the most basic level of society, are fundamental. They’re hard coded into humanity. All subsequent levels of complexity build upon them and extrapolate them. And traditionally society was built from the bottom up,Continue reading “Modern expressions of innate sexual instincts”

Marriage as a test for parenthood

Is it possible that being married is, in some ways, the best test of and training ground for whether you’re capable of being a good parent? Especially for men, but likely for everyone? Children demand so much and offer so little back. If you can’t accept a different person’s interests as your own and fleshContinue reading “Marriage as a test for parenthood “

What the sexes owe one another

Marriage is a strange but curiosly persistent and widespread arrangement. How humanity arrived at it, whether by nature or by divine appointment, if there is any sense in making such a distinction from the perspective of the time, isnt really my concern here, and isn’t a question that can be empirically answered. It certainly seemsContinue reading “What the sexes owe one another”

Would men care about women without sex?

One thing I sometimes wonder is, what percentage of the love, attention, and respect that men show women is due to their sexual attraction to them? I’m willing to bet that it’s a lot. Looking at how men act toward men, there’s a lot of competition. There’s not a huge amount of personal interest. MenContinue reading “Would men care about women without sex? “

What makes sexual alternatives attractive?

I’ve been rolling a lot of ideas around in my head for a long time, trying to figure out what it is that’s attractive about numerous aspects of sexuality. Specifically, pornography, prostitutes, and certain aspects of other alternative sexual cultures. One huge problem with almost everything everyone has to say about sex is that theyContinue reading “What makes sexual alternatives attractive?”

Love is forgetful. Love doesn’t remember it that way. Doesn’t remember how you vomited on the Floor. How you broke that, how stupid you looked, how cruel, how shallow. Love doesn’t want To remember. Love forgets each new day and Only remembers that best day. That Sunshine in your eyes. Love is viscious. Love knowsContinue reading “Love”

Warning, spicy meatball: in defense of oral sex

Spicy meatball warning!!! Explicit content. I just can’t be bothered with innuendo or euphemisms, so I’m just going to be radically explicit. This is actually a heavily edited version of the original. So if you’re easily shocked, imagine the first draft. The rest of the world is shoving a cheap and shallow, explicit version ofContinue reading “Warning, spicy meatball: in defense of oral sex”

Why are men obvious and women opaque?

There is a small matter that works at my thoughts, demanding attention. Obviously, the way we approach our need for one another can and has resulted in some terrible abuses. Because it’s such a powerful fundamental aspect of our identities, because it’s so tied to our life and survival as a species, its a prettyContinue reading “Why are men obvious and women opaque? “

How should we regulate sex?

It’s a difficult subject to tackle, how we should approach sex. Sex, both as an identity and as as an activity, I mean. Yes, societies have done various things throughout history, but generally they’ve let instinct and necessity dictate the terms. And on the side, once they’ve paid tribute to what need to be doneContinue reading “How should we regulate sex?”

What is romance?

Friendship is the enjoyment of lives lived in parallel. Romance is the desire to unite your story with someone else’s. We enjoy drama and excitement and a sense of occasion in that unity, we want it to have a sense of occasion. There’s a delight in the ritual and in performing the rites of significance.Continue reading “What is romance?”